Post # 9 - On Our Wedding Anniversary...

.....I present to you, some very interesting quotes on marriage, from literature.

‘Marriage is between two people. There is no studio audience.' (An American Marriage - Tayari Jones)

Who needs a studio audience when you have social media? However…..

‘A marriage is a very secret place.’  (The Black Prince - Iris Murdoch)

Instagram doesn’t tell the whole truth, always remember that because…

‘In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner.’ (A Severed Head - Iris Murdoch)

Sad, but true. In which case….

‘It is my advice to any woman getting married to start, not as you mean to go on, but worse, tougher, than you mean to go on.' (A Far Cry from Kensington - Muriel Spark)

It might work, it might not work but don’t fret because..

‘Marriages, my dear, are made to be broken, that’s one of the rules of modern civilisation.’  (A Backward Place - Ruth Prawer Jhabvala)

Wait a second…this post is about a celebration of marriage, not dissolution! Most literary masterpieces are usually around unhappy marriages so I think it wasn’t such a good idea to dip into literary quotes..... 

‘Marriage: a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully omitted to investigate.’ 

(The Course of Love - Alain de Botton)

Post # 10 - 3,650 days of married life

We are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary today. A decade of togetherness - of love, laughter, tears, immense joy, some sadness and lots of good times. What have I learnt from ten years of married life? 

 - Nothing is perfect in this world so don’t look for perfection in your marriage. Let it be a happy and safe space for you both. 

-  Accept your spouse as he/she is, not as you’ll like them to be. If you’re supportive of him/her, the changes will come automatically. Good changes, that is.

- Criticism is the death of a marriage. So is nagging. Avoid both like the plague. Trust me on this.

- Don’t compare your marriage or your spouse to others. Just don’t. Your bond is unique and special. Celebrate it. 

- Ego is a three letter word that creates such strong walls between husband and wife that sometimes it becomes impossible to break them. Avoid letting it come between you and him/her.

- Respect. You lose that for your spouse, your marriage is over. 

- Learn to let go. There are so many little things we get upset over and that blow up into big issues. Before you start screaming at your spouse for leaving the towel on the bathroom floor or of having makeup cover every inch of the dressing table, think of your own self. Do you not make mistakes too? Take a deep breath and move on. There are bigger battles to pick out there in the world. Don’t engage in war over petty matters at home. 

- Enjoy the little things. As time goes on and responsibilities pile up, the little things help to keep the bond strong and the relationship fresh. 

- Be grateful for being in a happy, strong, uncomplicated marriage. 

I leave you with my favourite quote on marriage from the film, Shall We Dance? 

“All these promises that we make and break, why is it do you think that people get married? Because, we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet..I mean what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage you’re promising to care about everything; the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it, all the time, everyday. You’re saying your life will not go un-noticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness”. 

Happy Anniversary to Us!