tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86945289350511716772024-02-20T19:55:52.388+05:00beanbag talesFarheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.comBlogger313125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-89252723664023781372020-10-20T22:54:00.000+05:002020-10-20T22:54:07.935+05:00Re-reading Rebecca <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I also got onto the bandwagon of re-reading Rebecca before the new adaptation by Netflix comes out on the 21st of this month (which is tomorrow!). I’m not very crazy about book to movie adaptations because they usually never do justice to the book. The first Rebecca movie by Alfred Hitchcock was quite good, even though the ending was a bit altered, considering it was made in 1940, just three years after the book was published.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk7H2u8aUB54WyYgw5_rPdvRnkUyz0_w0q_ZjAVdTBfTDHOQxgSeAdEncyrzQ_kkAyEc_BLVFkZL9f45Ob6J_SS6fBr0aF-9Balx04t3Lwi5kFbj3vZ7_EUsLZR0H3w96X_w7PM1SFIZs/s2016/image0+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk7H2u8aUB54WyYgw5_rPdvRnkUyz0_w0q_ZjAVdTBfTDHOQxgSeAdEncyrzQ_kkAyEc_BLVFkZL9f45Ob6J_SS6fBr0aF-9Balx04t3Lwi5kFbj3vZ7_EUsLZR0H3w96X_w7PM1SFIZs/w300-h400/image0+%25281%2529.jpeg" width="300" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia;">Re-reading some books takes us on a personal journey. Whenever I pick up a book for a re-read I feel I don’t just re-visit the story but also the events in my life while I was reading that particular book or even how I came across the book in the first place. Rebecca has a little story also.</span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">The year was 1997 and I was a student of pre-engineering in Federal College for Girls Rawalpindi (also known as CB college) who was trying to juggle reading with studies. I didn’t have much access to books because I was only able to buy them when we visited the old book stalls in Saddar on Sundays and that was only once in two months after a lot of pleading and begging. I had never heard of Daphne du Maurier, let alone of her most famous novel Rebecca, and it was a classmate who introduced me to her writings.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">It’s odd how sometimes one can recreate an entire scene around a small thing. I still remember how we were all walking inside the classroom, a large hall type space with big windows and large wooden tables, and this class fellow asked me of my current read. I don’t remember what I told her but I do recall her asking me if I’d read Rebecca. When she found out I hadn’t, she kindly agreed to lend me her copy. I was a bit reluctant to take the book from her because a) I was always a bit wary about ‘lending’ and borrowing books and b) I was a bit of a book snob and didn’t think the book would be all that she was drumming it up to be.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I was proved wrong.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I read Rebecca in a state of wonder and awe. I was completely sucked into the story. The 17 year old me loved Rebecca and hated the protagonist. I was aghast when I discovered that Rebecca was a ‘fallen’ sort of woman and refused to believe it but then I was brought around by the turn of events in the final chapters and was heartbroken when Manderley was no more. But I definitely loved the writing and wanted to read more books by the author. It was many years later that I read her other famous novels and became a Du Maurier fan.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I had a vague idea of the story when I picked up the book last month. The ending I knew well but some of the other details of the story came as a surprise to me. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the book more this time around because I wasn’t in a hurry to finish it and ‘find out’ the ending. It was a treat to roam around Manderley during the pockets of time I managed to steal from the twins. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">My feelings towards the book, however, were totally different after this re-read. I didn’t feel a lot of sympathy for Max de Winter and his young bride as the events around Rebecca’s death unfolded. Rebecca’s debauchery and her wild manners were a tiny bit hard to believe. And the ending was dripping with sickeningly large quantities of melodrama. How come there isn’t a Lollywood or Bollywood version of Rebecca yet? Or have I missed it?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Is Rebecca worth reading? Hell, yes! It is a dark, dark book. If someone tells you that is essentially a love story, hit them with your copy of the book. It is not a love story by a WIDE margin. It has large doses of jealousy, envy and hate. It is also sprinkled with insecurities and mysteries. But so many people say there is a love story somewhere in it, you ask. I say yes you might find it - if you have crazy notions about romance or are 17. </span></p>Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-58512960872842041932020-06-30T23:58:00.002+05:002020-07-01T00:00:06.888+05:00Post # 15 - When a book ends...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">It is a universal truth that when a good book ends it leaves a reader distraught, lost, dazed, unhappy and unwilling, in some cases, to return to the real world. I, dear reader, often suffer from this malady. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqQbVaUTV7aXxYFjAovzDthnBoHZ9g0CZc5KEhFxIdSuW01gJTLK-8TnBcFd_bTGJNuapVsrimtqvz3rUbG13pSYYFMTdzQJBLbUd8vomvR-i1mMtzfI0CRwRvYY47xVtYrQkteIPhEY/s1600/IMG_6134.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="682" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqQbVaUTV7aXxYFjAovzDthnBoHZ9g0CZc5KEhFxIdSuW01gJTLK-8TnBcFd_bTGJNuapVsrimtqvz3rUbG13pSYYFMTdzQJBLbUd8vomvR-i1mMtzfI0CRwRvYY47xVtYrQkteIPhEY/s320/IMG_6134.JPG" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">There are a few stages to enjoying a book. Whenever I pick up a new book I’m filled with a mixture of apprehension and excitement (this mixture of emotions is not limited to reading only). Reading, unlike what most people think, is not just an act of picking up a book and going through it from beginning to end. At least, it isn’t for me. A lot of effort goes into reading a book. There is the physical effort - taking out time, making small notes in the margins, and holding the book or kindle (anything over 30 mins and I need two pillows under my arms now!). A good reader also invests himself/herself mentally and emotionally with the book. The first few chapters are the beginning of your relationship with the story, and if it’s a good one, by the middle of the book you’ll have a visual image of the setting and characters down to the very last detail. The characters become familiar and you find yourself taking sides. You’re afraid to turn the page when the going gets tough for a character you hold dear. You might scream with joy, exclaim with delight or pump your fists when the hero/heroine comes out successfully from the peril that loomed and lurked in their life. In short, if you’re a reader like me, you start living in another world which runs parallel to yours. And there are times, rare though they might be, when the book’s world tempts you to step into it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Alas! That cannot be. All good things have to come to an end and so is the case with a good book. When I turn the last page of a book I’ve enjoyed and with whose characters I’ve developed a love and hate relationship, a strange sort of sadness comes over me. I feel lost for a few days and unable to pick up another book. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">This might sound strange to a non-reader. When we are getting news 24/7 about all kinds of catastrophes and tragedies, how can a work of fiction make one feel complex emotions? My answer is simple. It can. Humans crave stories. We spin stories about tragedies and joy and hardships and success and tell them to each other. News is also a grotesque form of story and is something we watch and hear but don’t engage with. Images flash in front of our eyes of people and happenings but we don’t absorb their stories. Read a book by a black author and you’ll be able to understand the pain and urgency behind the Black Lives Matter movement. Read a dystopian novel and maybe you might not support dictators and fascist leaders. Read a collection of short stories by a local author and you’ll be able to identify with the scenarios in many of them. Read a fantasy or sci-fi novel for the sheer joy of being transported into fantastical worlds and if you read closely, you might spot many similarities with and ugly truths about the reality around you. Read a popular book; its themes and story might surprise you. Read a work of non-fiction without judgement and preconceived notions and your views on that particular topic might take a 180 degree shift. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Books can make you feel heavy duty emotions. The end of a book, like a relationship, leaves you in a bit of a limbo. I am still in the suffering mode as I finished two amazing books four days back. The next pile of books is stacked, not quite neatly, on my side table and I think it’s about time I take another leap of faith and immerse myself in a new world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><i>“Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important it finds homes for us everywhere.” (Jean Rhys)</i></span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-49918868281795431872020-06-15T23:49:00.000+05:002020-06-15T23:49:06.628+05:00Post # 14 - What drives a person over the edge?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m not a fan of Sushant Singh Rajput. In fact, I’ve not even seen any of his movies. And yet, the news of his death rattled me completely. What demons was he battling on his own? Demons so big and strong that they didn’t let him reach out to others? Didn’t he have anyone to talk to? A friend who could hold his hand and hear him out without passing judgement? Someone who could talk him into going for therapy? Wasn’t there anyone? In the endless contacts on his phone and friends on social media, was there no one to talk to? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mental illness is one of the most taboo subject in our society. What will your reaction be if your mother, father, sister, brother, spouse, child, friend, colleague told you that they’re suffering from depression? Will you listen or will you judge? Ask yourself this question. It is people like us, you and me, who fail to accept the symptoms of depression in our loved ones because how can any one we know be unhappy or heaven forbid, be ‘depressed’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Depression can be treated. It can be fixed. It doesn’t have to lead to suicide. The most important thing a person suffering from it needs, above all else, is for somebody to hear him out without judgement, prejudice or fear. And if you are that ‘somebody’ then I beg you to pay attention, show empathy and keep track. Maybe your follow-up might save the life of the person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will turn to books for solace. Books on mental illness with happy endings and maybe some with not-so-happy ones. I’ll sign off with this inspirational quote from Matt Haig. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>“Depression is also smaller than you. Always, it is smaller than you, even when it feels vast. It operates within you, you do not operate within it. It may be a dark cloud passing across the sky but - if that is the metaphor - you are the sky.”</i></span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-49700812546831437472020-06-14T23:41:00.001+05:002020-06-14T23:41:41.448+05:00Post # 13 - The Lockdown Life <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="georgia">One of the things I've realized, among many others during this lockdown, is that we think very low of our everyday tasks. We don’t give them much importance. Most of us consider them a burden and hate them. In our part of the world we have domestic help who do these everyday chores for us so we are spared. Now, confined in our homes, we don’t have a choice but to do these everyday tasks. A lot of us don’t have live-in help so we find ourselves cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing clothes and doing grocery these days. What adds more spice to the entire situation is the presence of kids and husbands in the mix minus socialising or eating out. The Conjuring series does not even come close to the horror we are all living through at the moment. </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="georgia"><br /></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="georgia">In all fairness, a lot of us have it easy. We don’t have to worry about finances and putting food on our table which, sadly, many people are struggling with. If your biggest worry is washing and ironing your clothes, you’re super lucky. Even though it might seem like a mundane, back breaking, hand wrecking job (which it is), it is also one which can bring a sense of calm and provide you with some brain space. Mostly to think about how to get the rest of the chores done and still find time to read or write or call a friend or watch television or just take a power nap. </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="georgia"><br /></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="georgia">I’ve come back to my writing. I’ve dug out my old notebooks and am going through the various ideas I’ve been jotting down over the years one by one. I’m on idea number one these days. It's about a girl's obsession with beauty and self-image. And that's all I have to say on it for the time being. </font></div>Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-54534285077824863932020-04-22T23:04:00.001+05:002020-04-22T23:10:58.522+05:00Post # 12 - 'The Girl Who Saved Christmas' filled me with hope to bursting point<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hope. It’s an emotion we all experience everyday. Or almost everyday. A simple Google search of this four letter word brought up many definitions/meanings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>“…a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>“ Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Never has the world collectively hoped for the same things. Hope that people suffering from the virus will recover. Hope that this virus will spare us, our loved ones, our country. Hope that the old ways of life and living will return soon. Hope is a powerful emotion. It is uplifting and maybe, who knows, magical too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Even though hope is a powerful feeling that carries a lot of positive connotations, it is a little hard to come by in this crazy time. Locked in our homes, away from our loved ones, living a life which we had only ever come across in books or movies - it is tough to feel hopeful. When ever I’ve found myself spiralling down into the ‘rabbit hole’, I have turned to books. No matter what my state of mind may be at a given time, I always believe that there is a right book which will help me, alleviate me, motivate me or fill me with gratitude and hope. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcDYZOWUWWuRMLPuQ1ot0sbCNZJBhLZqEHPx6W6g7gu3nNqsH-H-SEPR8CVNn0604rFo7boLg-e66TDe_CpPd7H52puzTGtu_Mg2j8ov7GI2Mk9wAavsPQ0gZGJHp41Ilt-RXmcvFDgo/s1600/IMG_8593.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcDYZOWUWWuRMLPuQ1ot0sbCNZJBhLZqEHPx6W6g7gu3nNqsH-H-SEPR8CVNn0604rFo7boLg-e66TDe_CpPd7H52puzTGtu_Mg2j8ov7GI2Mk9wAavsPQ0gZGJHp41Ilt-RXmcvFDgo/s320/IMG_8593.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I did find myself going a bit over the edge a few days back. There were the usual signs - agitation, a sinking feeling in the stomach, spurts of anger and a longing for things to be different. I knew I had to find my next read quickly and that, too, something which was buoyant and uplifting. While searching through my book shelves for the ‘right’ read, I picked up and put down many books - a collection of essays by Zadie Smith, Slaughterhouse 5 and even, The Hobbit. Just as I thought I’ll have to fall back on my usual book saviour, P.G. Wodehouse, I came across this lovely book which my niece had gifted me last year around Christmas and I instantly knew that this book was going to save me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is the second book in the <a href="http://matthaig.christmas/" target="_blank">Christmas titles</a> by Matt Haig. My very first book by Matt Haig was The Humans which I read only because it was a selection for our Karachi DWL Readers’ Club. Haig is not an ordinary writer though his writing might come across as simple. He is one of those writers who keep you glued to the story so that you just can’t help but finish his book. Also, I feel, there is an element of crazy in his work which has made me read other novels by him. Most of his books, even the ones based on vampires (The Radleys), are oozing with hope and good cheer. Writing, I think, is an outlet for Haig to deal with his own depression and anxiety. I’ve read his books in times of mild distress (A Boy called Christmas - when I was trying to conceive. The Radleys - during my pregnancy and The Girl who saved Christmas - now) and they’ve always brought a smile to my face. It sounds a bit cheesy but trust me, his writing has the power to improve one’s mood unless you’re a total snob about books. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Happy, or something close to it, is what we need to be at the moment as the world stands at the brink of collapse and everyone hopes for a miracle. A miracle is what the ten year old Amelia Wishart, the protagonist, wished and hoped for too. Her mother died on Christmas eve and she was taken, by force, to a workhouse. Alone, orphaned and friendless, her only hope was Father Christmas. Unfortunately, Elfhelm, where Father Christmas lived amongst the elves, was facing a crisis too. Trolls attacked the elf town on Christmas eve, even though they had agreed on a peace treaty (sound familiar?) and Christmas had to be cancelled. Though Father Christmas got Amelia’s letter and that of many other children, he didn’t possess magic, toys and the sleigh to carry out his job. With Father Christmas thus restrained, Amelia’s wish remained unfulfilled and she stopped believing in magic, in goodness and even in Father Christmas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>“She realised that this world, and everything in it, belonged to men. Except Queen Victoria. The only way to be female in this world, Amelia thought angrily, was to have a crown on your head. Because really the world was run by men. Cruel, unthinking men who didn’t and would never care about the wishes and hopes of a ten-year-old girl like her. Men like Officer Pry. Men like Mr. Creeper. Men who thought they were doing good but who were really doing harm. And yes, even Father Christmas. Yes, especially him. Father Christmas had made children believe in magic when actually a lot of life was very unmagical.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hope has a strange, resilient power. Even if a smidgen of it exists in the world, it can make a difference. Don’t lose hope is a phrase oft repeated. Sometimes it might sound hollow and superficial but it is anything but that. Things do work out for the better even if they take some time. In Amelia’s case, it took an entire year for her life to turn around. For it was only after a year that Father Christmas was able to deliver toys to the children around the world on Christmas Eve and Amelia was first on his list. However, he didn’t know the change in her circumstances and address (since there wasn’t any Google in London during Victorian Times) and thus had to conduct an almost door-to-door search for Amelia. He had quite an adventure of it too as he met the young Queen Victoria (owing to his sleigh crashing through the window of her room in Buckingham Palace) and a young Charles Dickens. In fact, it was Father Christmas who suggested that Dickens write a book on Christmas. Fancy that!</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Charles Dickens and Father Christmas</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>‘I have been sitting upstairs at my desk every day for five weeks trying to think of a new story, but my mind is barren and empty. I’ve been getting the mobs. People liked my last story a lot and now I worry I will never be able to write another. Presently, my mind is as foggy as the River Thames in March. I have no idea what to write about next. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Father Christmas smiled. ‘Christmas! You should write about Christmas!’</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>‘But it takes me months to write a book. How could I write about Christmas in, say, March?’</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>‘Christmas isn’t a date, Mr.Dickens. It’s a feeling.’</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Father Christmas saw the writer’s eyes light up like windows at night. ‘A Christmas story? That’s not such a bad idea!’</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What follows after these two encounters is some hard core action which I’ll leave the reader to discover himself/herself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This book has everything to uplift one’s mood. Christmas and all the joy it brings is, indeed, a feeling because even though it’s April, I felt all warm and fuzzy with hope and joy. Another uplifting feature of the book are the strong female characters. Amelia, who never gave up hope that she will escape from the workhouse, with or without outside help. Mary, the kind woman at the workhouse who added sugar into the food or ‘slop’ to make it a bit better for the young kids who worked there. The young Queen Victoria who extended all her help to Father Christmas although he crashed into her room with reindeers in the middle of the night. But humans aren’t the only impressive characters in the story. There is the elf Noosh who is a doting mother, a journalist and a conscientious citizen. Also the Truth Pixie who always tells the truth no matter what the consequences and helps Noosh uncover some interesting facts about the Troll attack on Elfhelm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Books have power. Some more than others. This isn’t a book that will change your beliefs or cause a revolution or make you start believing in magic. What it might do, like it did for me, is uplift your mood. It might also make you realise that even though sometimes all hell breaks loose, things do get back to normal (in some cases, even better than normal). It just takes some time. The important thing is not to lose hope and remember that there is no impossible. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-29701664563729935832020-04-01T19:54:00.000+05:002020-04-01T19:54:21.196+05:00Post # 11 - Missing Routine Life? You're not alone. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">How many of us have not complained, over the years, about our boring routine lives? Almost all of us. We’ve lamented over how our lives are like clockwork - that we’re just slaves to the clock and hardly ever get time to ourselves. Almost all of us have wished, at some point or the other to press the pause button on our busy schedule. Be careful what you wish for, I’ll say, for someone has been listening and has pressed the pause button for us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I stepped out of the house some days back to buy groceries and the sight was unnerving and disturbing, to say the least. Shops closed, roads deserted, and hardly anyone around. Those who were out and about were shielded behind a mask and maintaining a distance of 3-4 feet. In a city where finding parking is next to impossible there is, now, ample parking space but no cars. We have accepted this new mode of lifestyle, albeit reluctantly, as our current reality and are adapting ourselves accordingly. Where once thermometers were used to check for fever only in the hospitals, they are now being used everywhere, including outside Agha's supermarket. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Will things ever be the same again? </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is the one question which is, I’m sure, haunting all humanity. Will things ever be the same again? How will we all emerge from this epidemic? Bruised, yes, but bitter? Or grateful, humble and more tolerant? Only time will tell. And at the moment, we have a lot of time on our hands.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaughterhouse-Five" target="_blank"><b>So it goes. </b></a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Reflect. Be kind. Read. Laugh. Smile. Express gratitude. Pray. Whatever you do, don't lose hope. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-89413300245415438172020-03-25T23:38:00.000+05:002020-03-27T09:29:29.356+05:00Post # 10 - How The Water Dancer reinforced my belief in the power of stories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Stories are powerful. I have not believed in their powers so strongly than in this current crisis. Social media has become, even more than before, a platform for sharing stories. Not a day goes by when my WhatsApp, Instagram or Facebook feed does not have a video which tells me a story of a total stranger. Stories of hope, of failure, of disappointment, of simple joys, of fear, and of death. These stories have connected me and others with people in Italy, Spain, Iran and other parts of the world which are facing the worst of this epidemic at the moment. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI63dBP2qj4q10LQgX4keYflPTBytkrV0dld5kezmEtJcMJmI_Lmn1fr00vd-SsjTOeXjNG6Spp_8VORHKgyZn5UkXsf_bAqHyTbA4oQEVnQQXL_ccbkeYp4BibWJeYTAvXxIjhUiYm8E/s1600/image1+%25284%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="1224" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI63dBP2qj4q10LQgX4keYflPTBytkrV0dld5kezmEtJcMJmI_Lmn1fr00vd-SsjTOeXjNG6Spp_8VORHKgyZn5UkXsf_bAqHyTbA4oQEVnQQXL_ccbkeYp4BibWJeYTAvXxIjhUiYm8E/s320/image1+%25284%2529.jpeg" width="256" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Never has a book reinforced my belief in the power of stories as this one. The protagonist, Hiram Walker, has a special power of conduction through which he can transport people from one place to a completely different place through the medium of water. But it is not just a magical power like Apparition (Harry Potter readers would know) - a select few have the power of conduction and the protagonist was only able to harness it when he reached down into the deepest parts of his past and relived the story of his separation from his mother. Like Hiram, another character, Harriet, can also perform conduction and she, too, reaches out to the stories within her, of her kin and family, to make this miracle happen. In fact, it is she who helps Hiram understand this supernatural ability: "<i>The jump is done by the power of the story. It pulls from our particular histories, from all of our loves and all of our losses</i>." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Yes, this book is about slavery. About that dark time in America before the civil war when plantation owners had dozens of black men and women working for them; in the fields, in the house, in the factories. When a plantation owner’s standing in society was measured by the number of slaves he owned. In the backdrop of slavery is the story of Hiram - his personal losses, his love, his struggles as a slave and then as a part of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underground_Railroad" target="_blank">Underground Railroad</a> and above all, his acceptance of his special powers. There is an element of magical realism in this story but then, don’t all stories have magic? Aren’t all stories a doorway into an escape from society and reality? And no matter what device the author decides to use in his story, all stories are important because they transport us to a time and place which we might never have experienced or even known. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I feel we don’t give importance to stories anymore. Maybe now we will, when the entire world has come to a standstill and all we have to share with each other, as we sit behind closed doors, are stories. We are shaped by the stories of our ancestors because these stories connect us to our roots. To walk away from our stories is to cut off our roots and denounce our identities. No matter where we live or what profession we choose or what car we drive or what phone we carry - our stories make us who we are. For us, the people of the subcontinent, the stories of partition are significant. They make us realise what we were, what we fought against, why we took the step of breaking away, and what we have done with the freedom gifted to us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Reading this book left me with a lot of sadness. The world has changed but there are still oppressors and the oppressed. Somewhere, even close to home, are people who are in similar bondage as were the black slaves of America. Distinctions are made, even now, on the basis of skin colour. Atrocities are still being committed by humans on other humans in the name of religion, sect, race, social status and class difference. Children are still separated from their mothers and families are still torn apart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The book, though steeped in tragedy, was not all bleak. Where there is darkness, there is also light. There are good people in this world also. People who take up causes and start movements even though they might not be directly affected by them (although if there is one thing this current epidemic has taught, it’s that none of us can remain unaffected by the condition of others who share our planet with us). But humans are resilient creatures. No matter what we are born into and who we become, we have the power to change our lives. What is important, I believe, after reading this book and being forced to sit at home due to a virus, is that our real strength lies in the bonds of love and family. It lies in the stories passed down from one generation to the next and most importantly, in how we take elements from the stories of our ancestors and create our own tale. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Note: The image in this post is by the author. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-59909066914115692662020-03-20T00:04:00.000+05:002020-03-20T00:04:10.311+05:00Post # 9 - On Our Wedding Anniversary...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>.....I present to you, some very interesting quotes on marriage, from literature.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>‘Marriage is between two people. There is no studio audience.' </i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(An American Marriage - Tayari Jones)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Who needs a studio audience when you have social media? However…..</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">‘A marriage is a very secret place.’ </span></i> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(The Black Prince - Iris Murdoch)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Instagram doesn’t tell the whole truth, always remember that because…</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">‘In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner.’</span> </i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(A Severed Head - Iris Murdoch)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Sad, but true. In which case….</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>‘It is my advice to any woman getting married to start, not as you mean to go on, but worse, tougher, than you mean to go on.' </i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">(A Far Cry from Kensington - Muriel Spark)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>It might work, it might not work but don’t fret because..</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>‘<span style="font-size: large;">Marriages, my dear, are made to be broken, that’s one of the rules of modern civilisation.’</span></i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">(A Backward Place - Ruth Prawer Jhabvala)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Wait a second…this post is about a celebration of marriage, not dissolution! Most literary masterpieces are usually around unhappy marriages so I think it wasn’t such a good idea to dip into literary quotes..... </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>‘Marriage: a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully omitted to investigate.’ </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(The Course of Love - Alain de Botton)</span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-74264252490537625462020-03-18T13:46:00.000+05:002020-03-18T13:46:09.884+05:00Post # 8 - COVID-19 and Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The world is at a standstill. As I write this, Karachi is also experiencing a partial shutdown. Schools, most offices, public spaces, malls, restaurants, gyms are all closed. Only grocery stores and pharmacies are open. It is surreal, yes, but also scary on many levels. Firstly there is the fear that I’ve met someone recently who had the virus but didn’t show any symptoms. Secondly, when will it end? Thirdly and most importantly, how will it end? Watching the news has now, more than ever, become a nightmare as reports come from all corners of the world of numbers and statistics. Panic buying and hoarding has started across the world including Karachi. On a lighter note, we have run out of hand sanitisers but we still have ample toilet paper!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our local government has taken some very strong measures and right now, I think, the Sind Chief Minister is probably making the most intelligent decisions regarding preventive measures. A lot of us, too, were in denial. We were convinced that just washing hands, drinking ample fluids and gargling will help us through this while we go about our regular life. I started raising the alarm ten days back about social distancing in my immediate family and friends circle but I wasn’t taken seriously. Thankfully my hue and cry did make them consult family doctors and many events in our immediate and extended family were cancelled/postponed. I’m hardly stepping out of the house but when I do, I carry a spray bottle full of a mixture of water and Dettol. I’m disinfecting everything which comes in the house. It’s a tedious task but it needs to be done. I have two different age extremes in the house - my elderly in-laws and my 2.7 yo twins. I might start permanently smelling of Dettol after all this is over. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When will all this be over? When will the world heave a sigh of relief and go back to normal life? Will we ever be able to go back to living as we did before this virus hit us and turned our world topsy turvy? I think there will be a paradigm shift as far as our basic lifestyle is concerned. Or will we go back to our lives in the same manner pretending all this was just a bad dream? </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTphhG7rSC_72vICjcs5x6PYx37ootxE-cHUl8kq1dGWHD7ZPBx9sKhtD9-dkq1zGDuUxheDzZcvjtK7T_JOGd3NeS20BJLXITsgMHA6VYaYLzJUjvLl40JKeqUM4Gw74Bjzu7FetoaI/s1600/IMG_6969.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTphhG7rSC_72vICjcs5x6PYx37ootxE-cHUl8kq1dGWHD7ZPBx9sKhtD9-dkq1zGDuUxheDzZcvjtK7T_JOGd3NeS20BJLXITsgMHA6VYaYLzJUjvLl40JKeqUM4Gw74Bjzu7FetoaI/s320/IMG_6969.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Building a virus free lego city with <br />friendly dinosaurs!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In an ideal world, people will turn to books in this difficult time and find solace in stories. They will realise that books provide the perfect escape, even momentarily, from the dreariness and morbidity of being in lockdown. They will read to each other and talk about their most or least favourite books. They’ll go through their bookshelves and find hidden gems which they had bought but never read due to lack of time. They will develop an appreciation for the philosophy of bookworms - with a world full of so many incredible books, who needs people all the time? In an ideal world, yes, that might just happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Act responsibly. Wash your hands. Maintain social distance. Stay home and read a book. Be grateful for your health and that of your loved ones. Say a prayer for the doctors and nurses who are at the frontline and fighting this virus all over the world. Most importantly, don’t forget to wash your hands. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-9704725211037309422020-03-11T17:44:00.001+05:002020-03-11T17:44:58.915+05:00Post # 7 - The Books We Hide<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0ne4tWe2J2cE2DwKmAkLUQNpT8pUSY-lWs4idsh9Mc0ww-QfP7zOdPRQU6Ks2NkPIird3OI45PpvZju5Pb_nO3VcU8ktK_AR0Ou2UCvIkLvsA_fa2wk3DiC9pyq7wgxMZqZMwIE9XG4/s1600/image1+%25282%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0ne4tWe2J2cE2DwKmAkLUQNpT8pUSY-lWs4idsh9Mc0ww-QfP7zOdPRQU6Ks2NkPIird3OI45PpvZju5Pb_nO3VcU8ktK_AR0Ou2UCvIkLvsA_fa2wk3DiC9pyq7wgxMZqZMwIE9XG4/s320/image1+%25282%2529.jpeg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Or rather, the book covers we hide. A few years back I bought a copy of Simone de </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Beauvoir’s, She Came To Stay. The cover featured a nude girl and I remember the shocked expression of a young kid standing next to me when I picked up the book and started reading the blurb. Even I was kind of surprised by the cover because why would a book by Beauvoir need a naked woman? To entice a reader unfamiliar with her work? Someone who picks a Beauvoir book for the cover alone will be massively disappointed because racy is one thing her books are not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But what happens when you take out a book from your bag with a naked woman on the cover? Others who happen to glance in your direction assume you’re reading porn. So, what do you do? Cover the book with an old newspaper or wrapping paper or calendar? Which makes it all the more obvious that you’re reading something fishy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">While growing up I came across many calendar covered books in our house. My mother had this rather large collection of Mills and Boon and Barbara Cartland novels and the covers usually had illustrations of buxom women swooning in the muscular arms of tanned, chiseled men. With three curious children roaming around in the house, she made sure the books were always covered by some calendar or wrapping paper. Was she afraid that the covers might make me start reading the books? I never did - not even in university when I had easy access to it through my friends. They, too, always had the novels covered up in paper as they stuffed them quickly into their bags while there weren’t other students around. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why didn’t I read these racy novels? Was I trying to prove my literary prowess over others around me? Unfortunately, yes. College and university days are so demanding at so many levels and I felt (and this seems so dumb now) that I could impress others through my books. And if you cover up a book, there isn’t any chance of impressing anyone, is there?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have, thankfully, outgrown this philosophy and after years of being a book snob have finally come round to reading books which are not in my comfort zone. The <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/515017859452255/" target="_blank">DWL Readers’ Club</a> (which I moderate) played a big role in making me reach for books I otherwise never read. Also, I do a lot of my reading outside the house on my Kindle which again, most conveniently, does not display the book I'm reading to the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Times have changed. Social media has made the entire globe our audience and now with a simple click we can share our current read with almost everyone everywhere. The more controversial the read, the better. It might differ from culture to culture and household to household but things which were kept hidden or low key are displayed openly to the world. There was a time in Pakistan when writers like Manto faced trial for obscenity and vulgarity in their writings. Fast forward to the not distant past when book stores around the country openly displayed and sold the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Ironic, no? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Whether you like to show the world what you’re reading or you’re hiding it from prying eyes or better still, reading on your phone/tablet/kindle, the important thing is that you’re reading. And at the end of the day, that is the ONLY thing that matters!</span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-6363282743777147412020-02-25T20:36:00.000+05:002020-02-26T16:58:49.448+05:00Post # 6 - Are Mothers supposed to be superheroes? (motherhood series)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When women become mothers, it’s assumed that they will become selfless individuals whose only concern will be the well-being of their child or children. No matter what the situation, as a mother, we need to put the child first. We might be exhausted after a bad night’s sleep or bone tired after a long day with the kids but we are still expected to be calm, patient and not lose it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Do women suddenly acquire superpowers after becoming mothers?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">None that I know of. At least not yet. In fact, I can only see the powers of reason and sanity slowly seeping away from my grasp. Yet, I fight back and try and behave as if I’m a superwoman. I try and keep it together everyday because that’s what’s expected of me. I try to keep my frustration, my anger and my exhaustion under wraps because unleashing it makes things only worse. With the kids, with the spouse, with others. Especially others because everyone of us is always, always judging everyone else. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Is there a win-win solution?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Yes and no. Sometimes you find a solution which works but when you decide to reuse it on another day, it completely flops. These days my daughter doesn’t want to leave school. She’ll walk slowly and make many stops on the way from the school gate to the car. All the other children are happily walking with their parents to their respective cars but my little girl wants to do things differently </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(so much for wanting your child to be ‘different’ from others!). Everyday I have to come up with new and novel ways to make her walk. Some days we pretend that all the trees outside the school have magic buttons which we have to find and press. A big leaf I gave to her yesterday became a tickling device. She ran after me so as to tickle me with the leaf and I played along, leading her successfully to the car. When we reached the car all laughter and happiness, her brother saw the leaf and wanted one also. Unfortunately, we just had that one leaf. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Can one negotiate with toddlers?</b></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even play requires negotiations<br />
at times. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />Again, yes and no. I’ve learned two things so far. Firstly, raising my voice yields no results. They scream back, start crying or throw a tantrum. What else can you expect from a 2.6 year old? Yes, my daughter knows that she needs to walk home with me from school to the car but maybe she wants to play first. Maybe she wants me to show her a little extra attention because I’ve been away for three hours. If I start yelling or getting upset with her, she’ll respond in the only way she knows. Crying. That’s the only way she has of expressing her distress, frustration, helplessness, confusion and of course, anger. Secondly, talking to her, I’ve realised, helps me to get control of the situation. Talking in a friendly tone with them makes them trust me. And that’s what I need them to do. Trust me. Implicitly. Always and forever. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I’m a mother, not a superhero.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As mothers, we do have powers. We have the power to provide the child with an environment in which he/she can not just be happy but also be curious, creative and just be himself/herself. Most importantly, we need to realise that though we have quite a number of powers, we are humans too and need some time off. A cup of coffee in peace, maybe a few uninterrupted minutes of reading or just a power nap keeps our powers intact and makes us happy mothers. And it’s happy mothers who are behind happy babies/toddlers. Not just dry pampers! </span><br />
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Note: The image in this post is by the author. </div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-40449679567613556492020-02-19T22:29:00.000+05:002020-02-19T22:29:21.363+05:00Post # 5 - What do you see in the mirror?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Who among us is not familiar with the magic mirror of the evil Queen (aka step-mother of Snow White) and her famous dialogue, ‘Mirror, Mirror, on the wall - Who is the fairest of them all?’ We, too, ask our mirrors the same question as she did, it’s just that we a) don’t say it out loud and b) aren’t usually in the quest to be the ‘fairest’ of them all. For that we have ample fairness creams in the market. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Mirrors are dangerous objects. They are both our best friends and worst enemies. Without them, we have no way of knowing how we are physically. Imagine a world without mirrors, where people had no way of knowing if a certain hairstyle suited them or if their clothes fitted properly or looked flattering. In a world devoid of mirrors, the only feedback we will have on our appearance will be from others. Friends, spouse, children, parents, and the looks random strangers give us on the street will be our guide. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It is a strangely liberating thought but also slightly oppressive. No mirrors to tie saris in front of? No mirrors to help apply makeup to cover our imperfections? No mirrors to tell us if we look too fat, too thin or just right? No mirrors?! At this point in time, I have seven mirrors of different sizes in the house (not counting the mirrors on cupboards and in the bathrooms). If mirrors were to suddenly vanish one day, I’ll have an anxiety attack, not to mention a major decor meltdown! </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4epAD-3qUwcl6z42-1XrH1zV_ne8l7XVD-dzF1-PPuXhpVrwnHYRtoJfsl25ZJbSLB0VwMKJoUPIMdlxiyideDUKLlkp28_woQJRDACvT5ydT3i4Fs9KIsYOpD_OUnAls0C1y7aX4uc/s1600/IMG_6159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4epAD-3qUwcl6z42-1XrH1zV_ne8l7XVD-dzF1-PPuXhpVrwnHYRtoJfsl25ZJbSLB0VwMKJoUPIMdlxiyideDUKLlkp28_woQJRDACvT5ydT3i4Fs9KIsYOpD_OUnAls0C1y7aX4uc/s320/IMG_6159.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mirror aren't for us humans only!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">On the other hand, mirrors weren’t always there for humans to gaze into for hours. It was </span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">around 200 years ago that the mirror became a part of our lives. Does that mean the people before us were not interested in their appearance?A little bit of Googling revealed that they had other metals (gold, copper) to see their reflections in. I guess the ones who couldn’t afford these metals could always walk to the nearby lake and check themselves out. 200 years back the lakes weren’t a) dried up and b) choked with all kinds of filth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When Harry Potter looked into The Mirror of Erised he saw his family whom he had lost when he was only a year old. Albus Dumbledore told Harry that this magical mirror shows the, ‘deepest, most desperate desires of our heart’. I think we, too, try and seek the truth about ourselves, our most deepest desires when we look into our reflections everyday. I believe one of our most desperate desire is to look perfect because, in all honesty, appearances matter. We might be crumbling and shattered from inside but we have to look put together and in control from the outside. Just like the wicked Queen we, too, can’t accept our mirrors telling us that we aren’t the fairest of them all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia, times new roman, serif;">Note: The image in this post is by the author. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-11613294121595261622020-02-10T23:36:00.000+05:002020-02-10T23:36:30.705+05:00Post # 4 - How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the books..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are the best love stories? The ones in which star crossed lovers overcome all obstacles and fall into each other's arms? Or the ones steeped in tragedy where ‘never the twain shall meet.’</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Going over my book shelves to pick out my favourite romantic reads made me realise that the greatest love stories usually had tragedy written all over them. Which is, I believe, what makes them enduring and impactful. And if you’re a reader and happen to fall in love, these stories will make you appreciate what you have even more. Maybe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">True love is hard to find. These books which I’m going to talk about here, briefly, reflect this. But oh, what joy love brings to one’s life even if it is not forever. To have loved once with all your being even if it is not meant to be changes you. Sometimes for the better and other times, like Heathcliff, for the worst. And no, Wuthering Heights is not on this list. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Love that came too late - The End of the Affair (Graham Greene)</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This novel is considered to be one of Greene’s best works and it is a really beautiful, yet tragic love story. The protagonist, Maurice Bendrix, a writer, falls in love with the lovely Sarah, the wife of a boring, regular civil servant, Henry. The lovers have their secret trysts but even though they are madly in love, Sarah refuses to divorce her husband. Bendrix is jealous and obsessive about his love and his struggle with his emotions is really annoying at times. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXtGgDedf7yL-TDnPyDQoAIbCCDqdV_59BU3ZLTmMkVtYYVXt6X-Ci_a0DgPZh2yX0zSO8oADZ6zJxtkgTGPzdCJdtkuPTPHaz067wLLqVPvhaW3PyXFYCyvRoWaxtAHKovLe1IO1l78k/s1600/IMG_6309.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="930" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXtGgDedf7yL-TDnPyDQoAIbCCDqdV_59BU3ZLTmMkVtYYVXt6X-Ci_a0DgPZh2yX0zSO8oADZ6zJxtkgTGPzdCJdtkuPTPHaz067wLLqVPvhaW3PyXFYCyvRoWaxtAHKovLe1IO1l78k/s320/IMG_6309.jpg" width="258" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The story is set in the backdrop of WWII and when a bomb drops on the apartment block where Bendrix lives, their lives change forever. The affair comes to an abrupt end without any explanation from Sarah which drives Bendrix crazy. Do the lovers ever get to make up? Does Bendrix move on from Sarah’s unfortunate death? There are some moments of real tenderness in this novel, but it becomes a bit preachy towards the end.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>“It's a strange thing to discover and to believe that you are loved when you know that there is nothing in you for anybody but a parent or a God to love.”</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This was one of Greene’s last Catholic novels (the others include Brighton Rock, The Power and the Glory and The Heart of the Matter). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For a romantic read with plenty of heartbreaking scenes, this book gets four stars from me. The <a href="https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1093671_end_of_the_affair" target="_blank">1999 movie</a> starring Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes is also highly recommended. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Where love lost to religious beliefs - The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There are some books which are physically painful to read. This was one of them. I think it was because I read it when love, the kind experienced by Ralph and Meggie, seemed like a distant reality and not something that exists beyond books and movies. Ralph is a Catholic Priest and this prevents him from marrying Meggie and this battle between love for her and love for his Lord is agonising for the reader. As a woman, I had no sympathies for Ralph. He wasn’t true to the woman he loved nor to his God. She was resolute in her stand and refused to see justice in his arguments. The ending just makes you cringe at the irony of life. What doesn’t make you cringe is the television series where Ralph is played by the very charming <a href="https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/national-international/the-thorn-birds-stars-reunite-and-remini/1963459/" target="_blank">Richard Chamberlain</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is a very intense love story but it’s also a great novel about family relationships, especially those between siblings. Meggie is headstrong and stubborn but these qualities help her to survive through a bad marriage and other tragedies. It’s a lovely book but a long one. I don’t usually say this but I think you’ll be better off watching the television series which is quite true to the novel.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFqu8vh_68ND7hW1SLq-wO8hxbPKO0q5w8VXkl9RnlcXUX9ioOtCLbpB_LRmM8T6e_pTf7TGUW4hc4FpdwWQISJAh94XrH1BTN_0hUihkmQtGfxODaUsGT03bBTKFBndjMw5ZxRgTT3U4/s1600/IMG_6293.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFqu8vh_68ND7hW1SLq-wO8hxbPKO0q5w8VXkl9RnlcXUX9ioOtCLbpB_LRmM8T6e_pTf7TGUW4hc4FpdwWQISJAh94XrH1BTN_0hUihkmQtGfxODaUsGT03bBTKFBndjMw5ZxRgTT3U4/s320/IMG_6293.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Another novel which fits this category is </span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh</b><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> Catholicism is a significant theme in the book. The protagonist, Charles Ryder, is in love with Julia Flyte, the daughter of Lord Marchmain and the owner of the palatial house known as Brideshead Castle. Julia and Charles, though always fond of each other, form a romantic relationship after their respective failed marriages. Religion, though, came in the way of their union. Julia, moved by her father’s last minute return to his Catholic faith on his death bed, takes a step which will make you, dear reader, stare at the book and probably at the walls of the room in disbelief. The only way you can come to terms with the strange, not happily ever after, ending of the book is to watch the 1981 British Television production of the novel. The ending remains the same but watching a young Jeremy Irons in the role of Charles Ryder is a visual delight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Where love triumphed over cultural, societal, racial, personal and other complications- The Far Pavilions (M.M.Kaye)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I added this book to the list, I immediately wanted to re-read it. This is a love story that I never get tired of reading. I knew of this book through the television series which seemed to be on every video cassette my parents had. This was the time before the internet and usually if you liked a favourite series, you recorded it on a VHS which was played on this extinct instrument known as the VCR. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve re-read this book countless times since I first finished it in my late teens and I’ve never got tired of Anjuli and Ash’s love story. It is a love which is not meant to be and yet overcomes all obstacles and survives everything. It really does! Set in India during the time of the British Raj, this novel take you through the length and breadth of India. From the mountain top palace of the Maharaja of Gulkote, to the barracks of the Corps of Guides and to Kabul - this love story of Ash and his Anjuli will transport you into a different world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That television series I mentioned of the book? Skip it. Read the book. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Modern Love - Juliet, Naked (Nick Hornby)</b></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">"One thing about great art: it made you love people more, forgive them their petty transgressions."</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At first glance this book might not appear to be a love story but it is just that. And it isn’t just about finding true love but accepting that one can outgrow love especially if it becomes suffocating and restricting. Annie is in just such a relationship with her long time boyfriend, Duncan, who is obsessed about a rockstar, Tucker Crowe and his music. When a new acoustic unheard of version of Crowe's album, Juliet, comes out Annie and Duncan's relationship takes a U-turn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A chance email to Crowe changes Annie’s life forever. It is amazing how two people from completely different walks of life, and completely different continents, can come together so easily. It is a very unconventional romance in a lot of ways but what I liked about it most was how we can stumble upon love when a) we least expect it and b) when we’re not in the prime of our youth. It’s a book that makes you realise that love is a complicated emotion but when you really, truly find it, you better hold on to it real tight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Love in Real Life - The Course of Love (Alain de Botton)</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbELW3D-_sjg1VHmLyWZSbEpw228IJ48dmUVZZGBn9MdLeC2t1lif8AlMadQdtV3y-JHydF0WRWFnjqJgaGxGE42bl88kUMfbXrLk_XRXHbfJbe343vJXoqzt3Q5v28_IGBDP8mwDH6ic/s1600/IMG_6289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbELW3D-_sjg1VHmLyWZSbEpw228IJ48dmUVZZGBn9MdLeC2t1lif8AlMadQdtV3y-JHydF0WRWFnjqJgaGxGE42bl88kUMfbXrLk_XRXHbfJbe343vJXoqzt3Q5v28_IGBDP8mwDH6ic/s320/IMG_6289.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This book takes up the story from ‘happily ever after’. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They get married and have children. Is this a love story? Yes, it is very much so. Especially if you’ve been married for five plus years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>"A marriage doesn't begin with a proposal, or even an initial meeting. It begins far earlier, when the idea of love is born, and more specifically the dream of a soulmate."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Rabih and Kristen are like any other couple. An exciting courtship period where infatuation is at its peak and every prospect pleases. Once the magical honeymoon is over and life settles into its routine is when the power of their love is truly tested. Through the ups and downs experienced by Rabih and Kristen over the many years of marriage and togetherness, the message comes through that love is not only an experience but a skill which needs to be learned and honed and adapted to changing needs and the pressures of the outside world. It’s not your regular romance novel and at times it does seem a bit preachy but if you’ve read the author’s, Essays in Love, you will love this book. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>This crazy thing called love...</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Love isn’t simple. It is exhilarating, uplifting, heartbreaking, disappointing, powerful, and yet at the same time, a feeling that can make a person feel like jelly. The greatest love stories, I believe, are the ones which can make us experience falling in love, all over again. Some of these and others have made me cry and laugh and feel warm and fuzzy all over. Which are your favourite love stories?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia, times new roman, serif;">Note: All images in this post are by the author. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-54533704000724733852020-01-23T10:01:00.002+05:002020-01-23T10:14:37.660+05:00post # 3 - the patience game (motherhood series)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you thought patience was tough, wait till you become a parent. And if you’re already one, I salute thee. Parenthood is so tough. The saying, It takes a village to raise a child, has completely different connotations in the age of the internet. In the East, we already have everyone from our own mothers and mother-in-laws to total strangers we run into at gatherings, giving us tips on raising our children. Then there are friends and cousins who keep sending articles on everything from potty training to eating habits to anger management issues. As if that wasn’t enough, there are always the videos on Youtube which can provide any amount of information on every possible topic. There is so much information overload that when the time comes to apply something that you’ve either read, watched or listened, you don’t remember what it is. At least, that’s what I think.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over these past two plus years with the twins, I’ve realised that there are three things that really make a difference to both your and the child’s sanity. Patience. Repetition. Forgiveness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Be patient with your child, is the advice everyone gives. Being patient as a parent doesn’t just mean not screaming or not getting angry at your child. I’ve learned and realised that patience also means to give the child and yourself space to understand each other. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I might be sounding like Yoda on parenthood right now but I’ve learned with trial and error also. Getting angry at a screaming child is going to make him/her scream more. Sometimes, even distracting a screaming child calmly doesn’t work. A few weeks back, while dropping the kids to school, Z started throwing a fit because he wanted me to sit with him. He doesn’t do this everyday but today, he was really upset and was crying and screaming. I tried to distract him by singing his favourite nursery rhyme and showing him the sights outside but he just wan’t giving in. So I gave in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So there might be some of you who’ll say, this was wrong. Now he will know that whenever he wants something all he has to do is scream and kick and his mother will give in. I disagree. I used to think the same but I’ve realised that this isn’t the case. Yes, maybe he might have calmed down after a while but he’d still have that negative energy inside him. His anger, which he suppressed, would either have come out later in the day or even worse, remained bottled up inside him. By giving in I made him happy and he went to school with a positive mind. Does this mean that I always give in when my child is screaming? No. But luckily, because I give in on simple matters, they don’t scream in every situation. Also, it is a combination of common sense and patience. Handling a screaming toddler in a car is much different from handling him/her in the house. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Choose your battles with your child. If you’re going to scold or punish or not let them have their way every time, then you won’t have any ammunition left for the major battles later on. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Patience is also of another level. We are told how our child should behave at a certain age by all these experts. So at nine months he/she must do this, at one year that is a given etc etc. Have patience with your child if he/she doesn’t fit the framework. Your stress will rub onto your child. When Z was one year ten months, all he could say was ‘papa’. We went to London and his paediatrician recommended we show him to a speech therapist. It was a very text book suggestion. But I knew my child and I knew that he was going to start talking without the aid of a therapist. Some children talk late, some crawl late, some walk late. I’m not saying delay treatment if there is something physical or otherwise not a 100% with your child but sometimes, you need to use your own knowledge of your offspring to make the correct decision about his/her welfare. In Z's case, he started talking in a few weeks after starting school at two years of age. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLmY2ztsYwRNWavwhpcAJxblSYcp0IFx3oGOPS4xxBqvo1Y1-uq-78YQNjbXnaOsvsACAqdyXFLZ1Z61KI1kG0HGTKsjS1XyMlcWJFnNSxgZ9rxbx3WgTs8qJJld9EvVTwrOrf53X_z9g/s1600/thumb_51834fd5-15eb-42ca-931f-5052e2e24542_1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1272" data-original-width="617" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLmY2ztsYwRNWavwhpcAJxblSYcp0IFx3oGOPS4xxBqvo1Y1-uq-78YQNjbXnaOsvsACAqdyXFLZ1Z61KI1kG0HGTKsjS1XyMlcWJFnNSxgZ9rxbx3WgTs8qJJld9EvVTwrOrf53X_z9g/s320/thumb_51834fd5-15eb-42ca-931f-5052e2e24542_1024.jpg" width="155" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Unconditional love will<br />help them steer their life<br />successfully. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>You know your child best. Trust your judgement and intuition. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Repetition works on so many levels. By reading a finite number of books to them every day I’ve made them recognise words and letters and now they can tell the stories by themselves, even if it is in mono syllables. So Z can tell you his own, mostly monosyllabic, version of Little Red Riding Hood. N knows how to make the animal figures stand in a straight line for an animal parade. They both know they can only do puzzles and play doh on their activity table but they can read anywhere they want to. Of course, sometimes this works like magic but other times, I’ve failed. No matter how many times I tell Z not to touch my phone, he does. Again, in this case I’ve noticed that if I let him play with it (it’s usually locked, mostly he just ends up opening the camera and taking a lot of black photos!) for a while and then ask him to return it, he usually does. Give in and take. That’s what I think is the secret to handling toddlers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However, don’t always give in. The other day we were at the mall and I walked into Miniso. N picked up this adorable cuddly toy dog and hugged it indicating, quite obviously, that she wanted to take it home. So either I could have said, awww…let me buy this for my baby or, put it back right now! What I did at that time amazed me too. I told her that this shop was the dog’s home and he lived here with his papa and mama. We need to let him stay with his mama and N immediately walked to the shelf where all the dogs were, put it back with ‘his mama’ and waved goodbye to it as I quickly ushered both N and Z out of the shop. Will I be able to do this always? No. But this decision of what and when to buy should be in my hands and not the child’s. That is the approach I want to develop and cultivate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just like we struggle with tasks and emotions on a daily basis, so do our children. I feel we keep forgetting that they are little people too and treat them like they are some sort of mini robots who have to turn, sit, stop, stand, smile, wave and generally be happy at our commands. Sometimes they do, other times they don’t. Which is alright as long as we know when to take charge, when to step back and at times, to give in. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-8379910439665672062020-01-16T10:15:00.000+05:002020-01-22T13:14:43.891+05:00Post # 2 - Read & Review: The Testaments <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>17th Jan 2020 </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Still reading. Didn't get the chance to finish it yesterday or maybe I didn't have the courage? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>16th Jan 2020 - 10:10am</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’m on page 340 so I’m more than halfway done. I’ll probably finish the book today because it has reached a point where there is too much at stake and I need to know how it ends. Does Gilead survive? Does Aunt Lydia’s scheme work? Do Agnes and Nicole get reunited with their mother?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The thick hardcover is lying next to me on the desk as I write this. Why am I not reaching for it? Honestly, I’m a bit afraid. What if there is no happy ending which, knowing Atwood, is not a given. That will be very disappointing. Especially when I have invested myself in the story so much (I read The Handmaid’s Tale before I started this book). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Just like Orwell did in 1984, Atwood creates a world which is so believable it’s almost scary. I don’t think I have the courage to watch the television series of The Handmaid’s Tale. Seeing the story come to life on screen will probably be heart wrenching. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">More on the book later. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>21st Jan 2020</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I finished the book on 16th only and decided to think about it for a bit before posting my views. It was a great book. The plot was perfect, the characters were extremely well done and believable. The connections with The Handmaid's Tale were there and I'm so glad I read it. How did I feel when I finished the book? Relieved but a bit confused also. Why did this book win the Booker Prize? It was a cross between literary fiction and a suspense novel and also, it had a really filmi ending. It's as if she has written this book keeping in mind that it will be made into a movie or television series. I'm not saying it wasn't a great read. Maybe not as haunting and disturbing as The Handmaid's Tale, but a good story. Now let's see what the verdict is at the DWL Karachi Readers' Club. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-2713266492962776172020-01-12T22:21:00.001+05:002020-01-12T22:21:28.066+05:00Post # 1 - Beginnings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A lot has happened in these first 12 days of the new year. The winter holidays are over and the twins are back to school which means early mornings and it’s kind of super cold in Karachi these days so it’s a miracle I crawl out from under my warm blanket every morning. Hubby dear is back to work with old and new shoots. I started and finished a book and am now on the next one. A story idea which had been bothering me for months has finally started to take some shape. I have decided to try writing personal, non-fiction essays (easier said than done but hey, one has to start somewhere!). I have a new profile picture on Facebook after, like, six years. That alone is huge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s easy to make resolutions or intentions for new year but as we usually enter it with pretty much the same people and the same commitments, it’s easy to feel demotivated and a little overwhelmed. What is important though, is not to lose sight of the big picture. In my case, the major struggle is how to juggle the kids and my writing. Reading I can sneak in for small time intervals during the day but it’s finding a dedicated time for writing which is tough. And by the time I get to it, at around 9pm at night, I’m too tired to think let alone write. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We usually set goals but don’t think how we are going to go about them. It’s easy to say that we’ll go to the gym everyday or meditate or whatever it is we want to do but really the days in the new year pretty much follow the same routine as the previous one. If we are really serious about seeing our goals through, we need to plan a bit and change our routine. And change is always difficult. I always resist change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As far as my writing is concerned, the best solution I’ve come up with is leaving the kids at my mom’s place. This gives me a couple of hours in which I can write without any disturbance. Even if I do this three times a week, that gives me at least 6-7 hours per week of unadulterated writing time which I think is super. Ofcourse, if I have writing to show for that time, it’ll be even more super but let’s not start the new year on a negative or ironic tone, shall we? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s super cloudy in Karachi today and super cold too. My feet feel like ice and I think I’ll just go and wear some socks. I’m a big fan of socks. You’ll find me wearing socks with penguins, avocados, cupcakes, owls and even Sponge Bob. And the latest addition in my socks collection is Van Gogh’s, Starry Night. Why wear boring black and white socks when cute animals and paintings can keep your feet looking good and warm? </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-86969729490817305132019-12-30T01:01:00.000+05:002019-12-30T01:01:08.260+05:002019 - The End<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It's that time of the year when we make resolutions and revisit the various highs and lows of 2019 that we collectively, and individually, experienced. It’s also that time of the year when a gazillion posts about how you can become a 'better' person fill up the internet and Facebook starts sending everyone their respective 'highlights of the year'. Which makes the end of the year a little more overwhelming than it already is or needs to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">How was 2019 on the beanbag?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I walked into the new year with an armful of resolutions, a self-help book (which I still haven’t finished) and a Google sheet. This sheet became something out of a horror story after a couple of months. The thought of this daily accountability, though very exciting at first, soon became a nightmare. Even though it did help me get into the habit of performing some tasks, there were others I didn’t or couldn’t do every day and the sight of these incomplete tasks made me loathe the sheet. So I abandoned it and decided to focus on the big and some not so big goals I had set for the year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The one big learning I’ve come away with from this goal setting process is that achieving anything requires resilience and consistency. No matter what the world throws at you, you’ve got to stick to your path. If you stray from your path, the big bad wolf will come after you and we know what he wants. I was able to do some things this year which I had not thought possible. At the same time, there were some other things which I failed at miserably. Does that make 2019 a bad year? Not at all. On the contrary, it was a year full of learnings and personal discoveries. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Major takeaways from 2019:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. Read for ten minutes everyday. There is no maximum limit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. Talk to Allah. There is no better meditation than prayer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. Don’t be afraid of the world. Write, perform, create - on YOUR terms. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. Take more risks, Farheen! Be bold and make a statement. Whether it be through your attire or your posts on social media platforms. Get moving girl!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. Wear more saris. Investing in lawn suits is ridiculous.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">6. Spend quality time with the twins. In a couple of years they’ll be off to university and then I’ll miss not being with them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">7. Take out the DSLR. Take pictures. Find beauty in ordinary things. Make an effort. You’ve done it before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">8. Write the twins’ journal regularly. Write in your own journal regularly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">9. Be kind. Be patient. Be kind. Be patient. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">10. Focus on your health. Do what makes you happy and content but do it diligently and sincerely. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Signing 2019 off with some words of wisdom from my favourite bear, Winnie the Pooh. "Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear and not bothering".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Note: Some of the highlights of 2019 on the beanbag. You can read about them </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/01/resolutions-evolution-or-confusion.html" style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">,</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-weight: bold;"> </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/03/post-7-homage-to-books-and-those-who.html" style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/03/post-10-3650-days-of-married-life.html" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">,</span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> <a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/04/post-11-lets-talk-about-london.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a></b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/05/post-15-so-what-do-you-do.html" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/08/post-23-birthday-wishes.html" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/08/post-24-twins-start-school.html" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">, </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/10/post-28-finding-your-story.html" style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">,</span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">and </span><a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/11/post-30-beloved-hungry-caterpillar.html" style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">.</span><b style="color: blue; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> </b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Whew!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Photograph: I took this pic of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet at the Flower Dome in Singapore during our visit in Nov-Dec 2019. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-80560641110627448442019-12-27T13:46:00.000+05:002019-12-28T14:28:45.172+05:00Post # 31 - 2019 in books <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This post is a long one. You've been warned. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Last year I just managed to read six books even though I had set a lofty goal of reading a 100. Actually a 100 books in 365 days is totally do-able if you don’t have twins and Netflix. This year I decided to work around the twins and other entertainment/commitments and set a simple goal (as suggested by my bestie) of reading ten minutes everyday. The result was that I managed to finish 20 books! I know some of you will scoff at this meagre number while others will shake their head in disbelief that I even got into double digits but one can’t please everyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A few books were re-reads, some of them were selections of the DWL Karachi Readers’ Club and some were from my TBR pile. So I started the year with Hanif’s latest book, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BqHWPZ_gs8a/" target="_blank">Red Birds</a>. Let’s just say that I liked his previous two books more than this one and leave it at that. Milkman by Anna Burns came next and this book was AMAZING. It was set in Ireland during The Troubles in the 70s and even though the story was about harassment, the war was weaved into it superbly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I managed to read three non-fiction books this year -<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4zWJv_Huor/" target="_blank"> Over Seventy</a> by P.G.Wodehouse, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxirMJzgE4b/" target="_blank">It’s Not about the Burqa - Collected Essays,</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtOgjVjgUFO/" target="_blank">The Sensational Life and Death of Qandeel Baloch</a> by Sanam Maher. All three books were complete opposite of each other. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Maher’s book on Qandeel Baloch was such a beautiful and sad read simultaneously. If you haven’t read it yet, I’d suggest you do. NOW. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The essays in It’s Not about the Burqa were very intense and personal. Almost all of them gave a picture of how life is in the UK for a Muslim woman. Whether it is concerning their physical appearance or their right to marry whom they like - this book is a brave attempt at highlighting the voices of women. Kudos to all who contributed to it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another book by a Pakistani author which was not just an enjoyable read but superbly written was Bina Shah’s, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Btpq6vDgnZ3/" target="_blank">Before She Sleeps</a>. The only unfortunate thing is that it isn’t available for sale in Pakistan and the only copy available was at the British Council Library. I think this might just be Bina’s best work. The plot was well constructed, the characters had depth and the dystopian setting was very, very believable. Loved it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bul-1rGgcQV/" target="_blank">Afternoon Raag</a> by Amit Chaudhuri was, like all his books, a very pleasant read. It was as if I wasn’t reading but walking through a gallery, viewing one painting after another. The beauty of Chaudhuri’s work is that he doesn’t really provide you with a traditional story structure but invokes a mood, recreates a feeling. I followed it up with Desai’s, Baumgartner’s Bombay. A typical Desai novel full of good writing and keen observations. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7YiheMmQ9-vYLTYKeAynNdTQ8XXJyHfC_iY_n7o9WqugiDEhHkALhcRpieUR8Hh0XYHIBSVeiH7ldam9CUoAi5pOni854Y7gKjkQ6w_lIpC2CBEQHhjO8Q73e47BCUQQa7qTaJCTukB8/s1600/image2+%25282%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="946" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7YiheMmQ9-vYLTYKeAynNdTQ8XXJyHfC_iY_n7o9WqugiDEhHkALhcRpieUR8Hh0XYHIBSVeiH7ldam9CUoAi5pOni854Y7gKjkQ6w_lIpC2CBEQHhjO8Q73e47BCUQQa7qTaJCTukB8/s200/image2+%25282%2529.jpeg" width="158" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another good read of the DWL Readers’ Club was Bird Summons by Leila Aboulela. It revolved around three Muslim women who embark on a road trip to see the final resting place of the first Scottish lady who embraced Islam. A road trip always promises an exciting story and the author didn’t disappoint. The ending wasn’t very convincing but the story was very involving and gave a good glimpse of how life is for devout Muslim women living abroad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Diksha Basu’s, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwmpeEZg5zb/" target="_blank">The Windfall</a>, was a crisp read. It was very visual in its descriptions which is always good. The apartment building in Delhi East - its living conditions, the inhabitants and the dynamics they shared was probably my favourite part of the story. I thought I had the plot worked out but she gave a nice twist which left the story open-ended and quite believable. I think this book is already being made into a film. If not, it can totally be made into one. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A book which has been adapted for television is Meera Syal’s, Life Isn’t all Hee Hee Ha Ha. I read it on Kindle even though I had noticed some copies of the book at local bookstores here in Karachi but I had dismissed it as chick-lit. Yes, I was a book snob once upon a time and no, I’m not proud of it. And I’m so glad I read it because it is a really, really good read. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Jhabvala’s, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BziuE3rhuoR/" target="_blank">Heat and Dust</a>, was a re-read. I mainly read it to watch the film. FYI - an extremely decent version of the movie is available on YouTube starring Shashi Kapoor and Julie Christie. A Merchant Ivory production, the movie does total justice to the book but of course, the book is always better. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The one book I read this year which has been rotting on my TBR pile is The Master & Margarita by Bulgakov. I really don’t know why I kept putting off reading this book because this book is a WORK OF ART. I purchased it in 2014 from a book store in Venice Beach and it has taken me five years to read it. If you haven’t read it, you must get your hands on a copy immediately. And don’t let others tell you that it’s an over-rated book. It isn’t. Ulysses is. Maybe even War and Peace (I'm ready to be roasted).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But if Russian authors aren’t your cup of tea then you can read An American Marriage by Tayari Jones. A basic plot with high drama and intense characters. I went through a number of conflicting emotions while reading it. It talks in a lot of detail about marriage, emotions and how we humans react to circumstances vs. how we are expected to react. Obama and Oprah are fans too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I also read Iris Murdoch’s, The Black Prince, this year. Mainly as 2019 was her birth centenary year. I’ve tried finishing this book earlier also but never got around to it. Somehow I managed to persevere this time around and I’m glad I did because Murdoch has this amazing way of writing where she does give you an ending but when you finish the book, you’re at a loss about who and what to believe. I love this about her books but I know this isn’t something which most people appreciate. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz38dH_mIhBAoeyaIv1lLHncAXzo27828A9sx6ElwJXazU8fpCQk0VTf1b3nOLxxAbuzSj8ijNpxHbG6jaBpix-BCFRFPxonx0lD1MONoxlJ5NbVgbYOEaZyzWo7mv8uf7CMRUBoS0Wto/s1600/image2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="955" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz38dH_mIhBAoeyaIv1lLHncAXzo27828A9sx6ElwJXazU8fpCQk0VTf1b3nOLxxAbuzSj8ijNpxHbG6jaBpix-BCFRFPxonx0lD1MONoxlJ5NbVgbYOEaZyzWo7mv8uf7CMRUBoS0Wto/s200/image2.jpeg" width="156" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What people want is a complete and ‘believable’ ending. Which is a bit unfair because isn’t the story the writer’s to tell? A lot of Elif Shafak’s fans didn’t like 10 Minutes, 38 Seconds in this Strange World. Or so we were told at the DWL Readers’ Club meet. This was the first book of hers I read and I loved it. This book resonated with me on so many levels that I didn’t want it to end. This is one of those books which will forever change your perception of Turkey. And it was also short-listed for the 2019 Booker Prize.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0_lF315UNp3W7PF_Ub6eaTnHfUgEROXYWpAsChyphenhyphen6KGfyetd6xIsOrCaB9hkP06lCAnbTnw24MbtsDQPoRwWt1TN6aBunZUk1r2N5QnV1pTKFDAQyNYqtCqv8Rduvrzv4vwdEcTAWSOQ/s1600/image1+%25284%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="921" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0_lF315UNp3W7PF_Ub6eaTnHfUgEROXYWpAsChyphenhyphen6KGfyetd6xIsOrCaB9hkP06lCAnbTnw24MbtsDQPoRwWt1TN6aBunZUk1r2N5QnV1pTKFDAQyNYqtCqv8Rduvrzv4vwdEcTAWSOQ/s200/image1+%25284%2529.jpeg" width="162" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite was another Readers’ Club selection and was long-listed for the Booker Prize. The concept was interesting but it was a simple, light read. Nothing very memorable. Another book that wasn’t much home to write about was The Fix by Omer Shahid Hamid. Yet another very unimpressive read this year was, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It was the most talked about book on Good Reads and I fell into the rating trap and downloaded it. It is a rags to riches story of a woman who goes from Hell’s Kitchen to becoming the biggest female star in Hollywood. There was a final twist in the book which I didn’t see coming but other than that, nothing much. A good read if you’re taking a long flight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I finished my 20th book last night and even though I’m drowning under social commitments at the moment, I’m trying to decide which book to start the new year with. Any suggestions?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What were your favourite reads of 2019? </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-67586779383854589252019-11-13T10:53:00.000+05:002019-11-13T10:54:53.949+05:00Post # 30 - The Beloved Hungry Caterpillar<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When Z and N were a few months old they were gifted The Hungry Caterpillar by very close friends of ours. I gave it to Z as soon as he learned to hold things which was around five months. It’s their favourite book and they’ve gone through the puppet version (another gift) of this same story so many times that it is in various pieces now but still a favourite.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Even at 5 months Z's favourite part was the <br />list of junk food the caterpillar ate on Saturday!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Z has finally started to read out the story to me while going through the book. In monosyllables mostly but he goes through it page by page, telling me what the caterpillar ate minus the days. Except Saturday. Currently, Z is obsessed with the list of junk food that the caterpillar gorges on over the weekend. Should I worry? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This book was published in March 1969, 50 years ago, and it's still going strong! What makes The Hungry Caterpillar such an enduring read that it has stood the test of time? (You can read in more detail about it <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2016/may/23/eric-carle-very-hungry-caterpillar" target="_blank"><b>here</b></a>). I think it’s such a well-loved classic because of the following reasons:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. The artwork is stunning. The drawings are very childlike and prominently appear on the pages against a white backdrop which makes it easier for the child to focus on the story. There is a smiling sun and a moon so the concept of day and night is very clear. The fruits with holes in them trace the path the caterpillar took which is a lot of fun, especially in the puppet book version. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. It teaches counting, days of the week and colours simultaneously. On Monday, one red apple. On Tuesday, two green pears. Quite smart and convenient. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. Junk food is not the hero in the story. Which is important for kids to know from a young age even if they don’t really understand the implications of eating poorly right now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">N and Z love the book. They can’t tell me why but I think it’s the simplicity of the story which attracts them and the fact that they, at this young age, can relate their world with it. There aren’t any big bad wolves or bears eating porridges in their world but there are apples and pears and oranges and chocolate cake and sometimes, a caterpillar on a leaf in the garden - waiting to turn into a beautiful butterfly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For adults it's a reminder that a) you are what you eat, b) Sundays are for detoxing and c) if you stay in your cocoon and focus on yourself regardless of the world outside you, too, can become the beautiful butterfly you always aspired to be. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-52903359012800022932019-10-31T10:51:00.000+05:002019-10-31T10:51:53.311+05:00Post # 29 - The Real Monsters aren't wearing Costumes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I recently re-read George Orwell’s 1984. It wasn’t an easy read and maybe I might never have re-read it had it not been the October selection for the DWL Karachi Readers’ Club which I moderate. If you’ve read it you’ll immediately understand why it’s a difficult read. It is a bleak, dark book which depicts the worst in all of us. It makes you cringe with fear and doubt because of the one question that seems to scream out from every page - what if this happened to me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The book covers torture in detail and though nothing gruesome is described, there is enough to make you wonder what happened to the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. One of the torture methods described in the book is taking prisoners to a place called Room 101. Here the prisoners are made to face and experience their worst fears. It might be the fear of drowning, of fire, of starvation or like in our protagonist’s case, a fear of rats. The book shows how a human being is willing to go to any length, is willing to betray anyone, is even willing to have his family slaughtered rather than face his/her worst fears. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My worst fear, for the longest of time, was numbers. Any mention of math froze me. Studying math was my worst nightmare. Math exams felt like facing a shooting squad. Discussing the paper afterwards felt nothing short of an interrogation. I think if I was taken to Room 101 during my student life, I’d have come face to face with complex mathematical equations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Fear can be of anything. Growing up another fear I had was of the video camera. This was during the 90s when mobile phones existed only in books or movies and the handy-cam was all the rage. My cousins had one and their favourite thing was not just to make a movie of get togethers but also to immediately connect the camera to the television and make everyone watch it. I was never photogenic and a combination of bad skin, frizzy hair and ill fitting clothes made viewing myself on a large screen even worse. When the handy-cam used to come out at family gatherings I tried to avoid it as much as possible, ducking into another room or covering my face with a book or a newspaper. I never fully escaped it though. Big Brother always managed to get me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was never afraid of the dark or of sinister creatures hiding under my bed. I was afraid of being judged and criticised. I was afraid of sharing my writings - both prose and poetry with others and this fear is still there. For the longest time I was afraid of not blending in with the majority.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unlike vampires, witches, zombies, ghouls or banshees, these are solid fears. These fears can actually shape us and if not checked, can define us. Now my biggest fear is parenthood. Whether I’m doing right by my children and being a good mother to them? It’s very easy to tell them the boogie man is coming if they mis-behave but inculcating fear into them of other creatures who are different can plant a seed of distrust which can snowball into something more complex as they grow older. My daughter is already a bit scared of the dark - I don’t know how it happened but it has and now I have to, somehow, help her overcome it. She isn’t afraid of dogs. Nor is her brother. And the way they play and run after our pet cockatiel makes us worry about the safety of the poor bird!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Fear is not a bad thing as long as it doesn’t take over our lives. Being afraid isn’t a handicap as long as you have the courage to address that fear and overcome it. And what I’ve realised is that one cannot live a wholesome life if there is a fear of failure or judgment haunting us at each step. So, this halloween, tell all the scary monsters to go away. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-72675350105987722912019-10-28T14:39:00.000+05:002019-10-28T22:09:24.941+05:00Post # 28 - Finding Your Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We start weaving our stories the very day someone asks us, what do you want to be when you grow up? Growing up, this was my least favourite question (read an earlier post I wrote <a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2019/05/post-15-so-what-do-you-do.html" target="_blank">here</a>). No matter what answer I gave, nothing seemed to please the grown ups. I always wanted to be a writer but when I used to say it out loud the usual response was yes, that’s nice but what is it that you want to do when you GROW UP? Their complete disregard of my writing ambitions confused me. It made me feel inadequate and somehow in the wrong. So I changed writer to scientist. At five years of age I had no real idea of what a scientist does except a vague notion that he/she goes into space. The answer worked and the grown ups, except for some annoying ones who pressed me for more details, were generally impressed or amused or both. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Our environment often starts killing our story before we even get around to writing it. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here’s my story. I loved to read and write. At age six or maybe seven, I was creating my own stories and telling them to whoever cared to listen. I went everywhere with a bag, an old Saudi airline one, with my stash of books and stationery items. If we were visiting a house without kids our age, I usually sat in a corner of the room (under my mother’s eye of course) and busied myself with the contents of my bag. Sometimes, I wish I could do the same even now!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I grew up in the 80s in a regular Pakistani household. At that time the focus was only on studying, getting good grades and choosing a rewarding profession. That reading and writing could become a profession was something nobody thought of, least of all me. Instead of being proud of my creative endeavours, I was mostly ashamed of them. Reading and writing was all very good but if you barely passed in the math exam in grade 8th, nothing else mattered. I know it’s important to get good grades in math but how come nobody berates a math genius for being below average at writing stories? </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Stories aren’t important. Math is. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Which is why I never showed the novel I had completed in grade 8th to anyone. I was ashamed of it. I didn’t make a stand and say, so what if I barely cleared the math exam - I’ve written this novel. I’ve created something. But I was afraid. I didn’t have the courage at age thirteen to talk about this beautiful story I had written. Instead I destroyed it, page by page in the small pond in our backyard. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We can’t write our stories in isolation. We also can’t write our stories if we’re governed by fear of being judged and shunned. Most of us never get to write our stories, our way - we just follow a socially approved narrative. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Which is why I didn’t fight against all odds and become the writer I wanted to be. I was always afraid to be a non-conformist. I was afraid of doing something which might generate comment. For the longest time my greatest fear was not of failure but of others. It is still there because such fears are hard to get rid of but its impact on my life is almost negligible, thanks to the love and support of my husband (who never really concerns himself much with the opinion of others!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But growing up there weren’t many people who were willing to allow me this leverage. I followed a very traditional academic path and finally graduated from one of the top business schools of Pakistan. Even during my time there I dreamt of working as a journalist or a writer. Immediately after graduation I got a chance to work with an amazing editor for a fashion magazine. And you know what I did? I walked away. All the voices around me kept saying things like, you’ll work for such a small sum in a magazine place? With this degree you’re going to just sit in an office and write articles? Will they be providing pick and drop? I got a chance to re-write my story and I screwed it. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But life works in mysterious ways. Even when we think we’ve reached a dead end, it gives us another chance to re-write our story. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Are we ever in control of our story? My answer is yes, we are always in control of our stories. Even if external factors create situations which aren’t to our liking or which tend to make us deviate from our plot line, we can still be in control of certain aspects of our story. We can choose to be the hero of our tale or we can choose to be the victim. The latter role means we’ve surrendered our story to the powers that be. So many of us who choose to be the victims of our tales end up empty from the inside - never living to our fullest potential. I know it because I’ve succumbed to playing the victim card. It’s a miserable state and while in it, I did lose control of my story. So how did I regain control of my story and come back in the driving seat? The answer is simple. I started contemplating on my mortality. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is nothing which shakes you to your very core than the thought of death. </span></b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me =Writer. Reader. Traveller. Flower lover. Photographer. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />We all have to die one day and we all assume it’s sometime in the distant future. But death doesn’t work that way. And when you start thinking in this manner, the layers of doubt start to peel off. You dig out your superhero costume from the corner of your inner being and start living your life on your terms. At least that’s what I’m doing at the moment. I’m re-writing my story once again. It’s arduous and daunting but it’s also very liberating and fulfilling. And that’s how life should be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Own your story. All of it. The good parts, the regrets, the achievements, the failures - embrace them all. Forget about what the world thinks of you, how do YOU perceive yourself? What is the role you’re playing in your own story? Are you the victim or the hero? Above all, be honest with yourself. Only then you’ll be able to change your narrative. And if you’re able to change your narrative and re-write your story, you can change your life. You really can. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-4090181042712673742019-10-22T14:25:00.000+05:002019-10-24T10:49:19.919+05:00Post # 27 - The Power of Stories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is a story? A couple of thousand words printed in a book form? A re-telling of fables and folklores? A collection of characters who are assigned roles and thrown into situations by the writer? A lot of us tend to disregard stories - we feel they are not necessary or important in our lives. Which is quite ironic because we are surrounded by stories. No matter where we come from, what our lineage is, whether we’re brown, black or white, or who we worship - stories are an integral part of our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A good story is a wonderful thing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For me, personally, a good story is one which stirs up something inside. A story which makes me question life and the choices we make. A story which gives me a glimpse of other worlds and lives. Characters form a very pivotal point for me in any story and I find the best stories to be the ones which have characters I can a) relate to or b) derive inspiration from or c) develop feelings (admiration, hatred, love, sympathy) for. It doesn’t matter what the genre of the story is - strong characters and a solid plot line create impactful stories. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve always loved creating stories. I think being a reader from a very young age inspired me to write. But now I find it a bit of a struggle to write stories. It’s not a case of lacking ideas but more a case of trying to please everyone but myself. Growing up I never had this concept of writing for others. I wrote stories which pleased me, which made me happy. Now, it’s all about what will ‘sell’ and be lapped up for publication. Which, I’ve finally realised, is not the route for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The thing with stories, I feel, is that they belong to you only for a limited time. If you don’t write the story, someone else will. It won’t be yours forever. Which is a good thing because stories need to be told. Their power is immense and long </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">lasting. Sometimes a story makes you feel something, sometimes it teaches you an important lesson and at times they inspire and uplift your mood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve been thinking of stories and their sources for some time. The stories I wrote or narrated in my teens, the stories which I’ve heard from my elders - you know, the stories of incidents and events which get passed down from one generation to the next, each generation adding more to the original narrative? Recently I came across this quote in Iris Murdoch’s book, The Black Prince, which made me sit up and collect my thoughts on storytelling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">‘Only stories and magic really endure.’</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And sometimes, the magic lies in the story. In fact, I think it’s sheer magic that helps stories last so long. There’s something almost magical in the process of writing a story and creating a world of characters and events which lasts, in some cases, forever. What is the one book you've read which has never left you? Or a character who you wish was not fictional? Or the story you turn to again and again, never getting tired of reading the same words for the nth time?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">[Next post: Creating our own personal stories and how writing the right story can change our life.]</span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-73531357567545390002019-09-05T11:09:00.001+05:002019-09-05T11:11:24.071+05:00Post # 26 - Show and Tell<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Aren’t our lives all about showing and telling? </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-dEBCXbFhomU4Q9axrev_Isy17KJsgVq9xTq9clIJBMvpRZA4mEv_J70bwRYERBXNRvFmIAN_MEQqTPxpjhyphenhyphenl7gyYBdUJhoJ6MK7_i1fHTa6A5TKr6RhsMpP0Zhk4fREpcisG8H_1CdU/s1600/a9c.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="556" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-dEBCXbFhomU4Q9axrev_Isy17KJsgVq9xTq9clIJBMvpRZA4mEv_J70bwRYERBXNRvFmIAN_MEQqTPxpjhyphenhyphenl7gyYBdUJhoJ6MK7_i1fHTa6A5TKr6RhsMpP0Zhk4fREpcisG8H_1CdU/s320/a9c.png" width="287" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This week the twins had to take their favourite toys for ‘show and tell’ to school. I found it very amusing because both N and Z don’t have a favourite toy as such. They have a few favourite books but those, too, keep changing every day if not every couple of hours. They never really warmed up to stuff toys or action figures (not yet!) and there isn’t any toy as such that they can’t live without. I did send them along with one toy each (and tried to impress upon them the night before how much they love that toy) but as expected, they didn’t say a word about their respective toy to their class mates! Toddlers are little people with a mind of their own.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wait, is this the beginning of a lifetime of show and tell? It might sound a bit crazy but seriously, what are our lives all about? Everything we do - the way we dress, talk, the accessories we have, the cars we drive, the clubs we belong to - they all tell a story about us. They are silent markers of who we are in the world. They help us to create a perception of perfection and happiness without revealing too many details of our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Social media, though, has totally changed how we view others. Now we don’t even have to step out of the house to show and tell. All we need is a camera, some lights and a decent backdrop to create a perception. The internet has allowed us to step away from reality and create an alternate world. A world which might not always be based on truth but which others out there might be taking to be true for us all the time. Putting perfect family pictures of holidays, weddings, birthday celebrations, work achievements on Instagram and Facebook helps us to show others the so- called perfect lives we are leading. We show and tell what we want to. We hide the imperfections, the daily disappointments, the mundane realities of our lives and only highlight the very best. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What’s wrong with that, you might ask? We have a right to show and tell what we want to, don’t we? Yes, but in doing so haven’t we all become narcissists or even worse, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray" target="_blank"><b>Dorian Gray</b></a>? Which is disturbing at so many levels. Let’s take our toddler class as an example. Your child might take a simple dinosaur - the plastic ones which don’t do much but stand on the floor - while another kid might bring some really fancy toy. How is your child going to feel about it? Isn’t he or she going to come back and say, I want that toy or can you please buy me something nice for my next show and tell? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And before you give me a lecture on how to raise kids who are above all this material mumbo jumbo, think about yourself. Take a moment and tell me when was the last time you scrolled through the net - Instagram, Facebook or whatever else and didn’t go, I want to buy that or I wish I had that?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Showing and telling, that’s what life is about. It’s up to us to decide what we want to show and how we want to tell our story, if we want to that is. Or maybe Calvin is right, 'Everybody wants the same old thing.'</span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-30021663555722903492019-09-02T22:47:00.002+05:002019-09-02T23:00:11.121+05:00Post # 25 - Monsoon (Memories II) <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When we visited Karachi in the summer holidays, there were three things we really looked forward to: meeting our grandparents, going to the beach, and playing in the rain with cousins. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Although it rained in Rawalpindi throughout the year, there was something very special about the Karachi monsoon. Probably because of the relief it brought after the stifling heat of June. Or maybe because we were in party mode and needed an excuse to celebrate anything with our cousins and rain was a major cause of celebration. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Even then as soon as the dark clouds rolled in and thunder rumbled in the sky, the lights went out. This was the pre-generator era (yes, I am that old!) but we kids weren’t bothered with load-shedding. When the first rain drop hit the driveway of my grandparents’ house, all us six cousins were out of the front door, oblivious to everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is a special kind of joy that one derives from the rain and which sort of multiples when you let your defences down and dance with complete abandon in a downpour. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Even though I haven’t let go of myself and stepped out into the rain in a long while, the twins did yesterday. One moment they were on the porch, stretching out their hands to feel the raindrops. The next instant they were in the driveway, jumping and splashing around. What made it more fun for them, I guess, is that no one (read: me) was stopping them from jumping in dirty puddles or rolling around on the floor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I’m writing this I feel a little sad. My grandparent’s house is still there but none of us cousins are around to play in the rain. My grandmother isn’t well enough to make aaloo ka paratha or pakoras. Those fading images of merriment and joy are all that I have. And I guess they are enough to out a little smile on my face as the clouds start rolling in and thunder rumbles in the sky. </span></div>
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Note: I've talked about the monsoon on the beanbag earlier also. You can read those older posts <a href="https://beanbagtales.blogspot.com/2010/08/monsoon-seems-to-have-let-itself-loose.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here </span></b></a>and<a href="http://monsoon%20madness%20-%20part%20i/" target="_blank"> <b>here</b></a>. </div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8694528935051171677.post-78078981750993683612019-08-30T11:07:00.000+05:002019-10-22T14:28:50.802+05:00Post # 24 - The Twins start school<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The twins have started school this month and at times I feel I’m the one going to school with them. Not that I was a late riser before the twins were born and since having them, early mornings have become a norm but getting to school on time is a whole different pressure. Especially with toddlers who have no concept of time and are indifferent to the fact that instead of playing with their toys or going through their books, they need to get ready for school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was a bit scared about school. I wasn’t sure how I felt about sending the twins away for a couple of hours and leaving them in a new place with well, strangers. A few days after school started I began worrying about their safety and once you start thinking about these matters, the mind leaps from one crazy scenario to another. I had almost convinced myself one night, at the ungodly hour of 2am, that I’ll home school them - society be damned. Thankfully, better sense prevailed!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTSzukUEECxszvI8VIv8IGDiiAeUGOuzbvJdV0zwqh43lUUue5JrP4lns2Yf-MRpffLTLLW170bWDubzOXIP2n9TEY8szMQQDBQtThaBq6Ah00T52vHMnY1B4SLPVqVVhiIPHk8D7YnI/s1600/IMG_0120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTSzukUEECxszvI8VIv8IGDiiAeUGOuzbvJdV0zwqh43lUUue5JrP4lns2Yf-MRpffLTLLW170bWDubzOXIP2n9TEY8szMQQDBQtThaBq6Ah00T52vHMnY1B4SLPVqVVhiIPHk8D7YnI/s320/IMG_0120.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As the days of the settling down period went by, both Adnan and I started stepping out of the classroom for longer durations and leaving the twins with their teachers. There were a few instances of crying but overall, both of them adjusted fine. And now, after almost two weeks, we are leaving them in school for two hours. Leaving them. Which means handing them over to their teacher and going home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And it was okay. I didn’t feel any anxiety or fear and no doubt creeped into my mind as I walked away from the classroom and out of the school gates. I felt happy and light. Happy that my kids had settled in their school with minimum fuss and no meltdowns. When I came back home the first time after leaving them I didn’t really miss them but yes, it did seem a bit odd to be without them. Sometimes I do wonder where all the time has gone. It seems only yesterday that they had started crawling. Now they are running and climbing and doing all sorts of things. It’s a pleasure to see them grow everyday but they’re growing up way too fast for my liking. </span></div>
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Farheenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02573835329559419583noreply@blogger.com0