Sunday, June 30, 2019

Post # 18 - Announcement

After a lot of thought and copious amounts of self-doubt, I've decided to undertake a self-created challenge. I'm going to post on the beanbag blog and the beanbag Instagram account every single day.

*deep breath*

Yes, a DAILY post. This isn't going to be easy but it's going to be a lot of fun as I will have to push myself to think out of the box and create something new everyday. Join me, next month, as I try to make good content every day of the week. Keep a lookout for #dailyJuly. 


My writer avatar this month!


Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Post # 17 - Motivation is a bitch

It’s not easy to find motivation. Or to remain motivated. The only thing that makes it appear every single day is the strong desire inside you, deep down, to change your life. 

I’m going to share a mini-story here. Of a time when I did find motivation. When the desire to change my life was so strong that I literally made things happen that nobody ever thought me capable of. I still remember sitting at the canteen at my college in Pindi and sharing a naan samosa with a close friend. I had turned to her and said, ‘You know, next time this year, I’ll be in Karachi studying at IBA’. She made an encouraging comment but later admitted, after I had made it into IBA, that she never thought I’d be able to do it. But I did. And it took a lot of hard work. 

Sometimes when I look back at that summer when I was preparing for the IBA test, I go into shock. I followed a very strict time table. I woke up at Fajr and and I still remember how when a part of me wanted to go back to sleep, another part, the motivated one, would force me to get up and sit down to study. I’d use timers for breaks and timers for studying. I was living at my grandparents house and distractions were always knocking at my door but I had developed the strength to keep them out. I worked so hard that there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I’ll not make it. 

And I didn’t. Not make it. I made it and realised after a few months that it was probably the worst decision of my life. But that is another story for another post. What I’m saying is that after that one summer, I haven’t been able to recreate that same level of dedication and motivation for any other activity. Maybe once when I did that workshop while I was working in 2008. That was also a life changing moment but another life changing moment happened at the same time and the latter completely overshadowed the former. 

I have a supporting husband and incredibly supportive in-laws. Why am I not able to make it happen? There are three things I want to do this year. Write. Yoga. Makeup. Why is it so difficult to do it? What’s stopping me? June is almost at an end and if I don’t make the changes now, I’d never be able to end the year on a different note.

So am I going to keep sleeping and hope motivation will come knocking at my door or am I going to pull it out of the rabbit hole and bring about the change I want to see? 

The question is, how badly do I want this change? Only time will tell. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Post # 16 - Shoes matter!

Always check the shoes to assess what sort of conversation you might have with another Asian woman, whether she was the type who wanted to discuss the price of gold and baby clothes, or talk about travelling around India and how crap men were. It was one of Chila's secret tactics in social situations, and it never failed. 

(Life Isn't All HA HA HEE HEE - Meera Syal)