It's so easy to say one needs change when things aren't going right. Sometimes that is a good idea, at other times it's just a way of running away from the actual problem. I'm in that kind of a situation right now as far as my blog is concerned. I'm not posting regularly and though I can easily put the blame on the twins (since they can't defend themselves at the moment!), the truth is that I'm becoming more and more afraid when it comes to writing here. Afraid of what? Well, it's an old fear of inadequacy which keeps coming and going especially when it comes to my writing. Half the time I write something and pore over every word for so long that I don't end up posting.
So instead of addressing the real issue, which is not taking out time to write, I decided that what I required was a change. I needed to start a new blog from a new platform. A simple case of running away from the problem instead of fixing it. I do feel that I've changed considerably from the person who started this blog many years back. And when I look back at the posts over the years I can see the evolution of me. If that makes sense.
What is happening on the beanbag now? Well, I'm no longer teaching advertising and consumer behaviour which I was when I started this blog. I loved teaching and whenever I meet any old student, my heart fills with immense joy (almost always, I promise!). I'm a member of the super team at Desi Writers' Lounge which has helped me do things I never thought I'd be able to do (more on that in another post maybe) but most importantly, it brought AMAZING friends into my life.
Most importantly, I'm now always sharing space on the beanbag with my twins. These two little angels (and mischievous, naughty, crazy, sometimes very annoying monsters) have brought about a lot of change in my life. Motherhood is still something I haven't written about in a lot of detail. Mainly because I don't want to sound preachy which I feel I will. But that doesn't mean you're not going to see a couple of parenting posts now and then here.
My life's focus is a little different this year too. I've made a Google sheet that has helped me accomplish so many of my new year goals in these two months. It's like I'm answerable to the sheet and putting ticks or crosses actually makes me feel triumphant or guilty. I know it sounds crazy but this sheet has helped me - I kid you not. Will you be hearing about it soon? Maybe. Let me get through the first three months.
There is a lot to share and write about. Just like there was when I started this blog. So I'm not running away with my stories. I'm staying put with them, on the beanbag. With the twins. And hubby dear. And everything else in between!
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