After 7 days on the beanbag, I think...

... I'll follow Kushwant Singh's advice on life. Although various elders have proffered similar advice but human nature dictates that we follow the golden words of some stranger. As the adage goes, 'ghar kee murgi daal barabar'. 

[I'm restarting this thread on the blog. You can check out the previous two I wrote here and here].

A Book is Looking for You

Many years ago, I had made a vow that I'd never part with any book in my collection. I've broken that vow a million times over. If a book doesn't appeal to me, I feel that it is meant for someone else and it's better to send it back into the world to find its rightful owner. 

Last year I decided to personalize my donation drive. Every book I donated had some comments (in pencil) on different pages of the book. I even made a new bookish email account asking the buyer to write back to me giving me his/her opinion on the book. No one, not one person, has written back. 

Which can mean one of two things. Either all the books I've sent out into the world have not found a new home or the buyers have just dismissed my email address and comments as a lame attempt by someone desperate for friendship.

So I've decided to reach out to you. Send me an email and I'll share with you all the titles which, I think, need to find a new home. Without my bookish email scribbled on page 58. 

Comic Strip: Google Images

Love Happens

When we fall in love, the scenery around us changes from bright colors and defined forms into fuzzy Instagram pictures.

I experienced life the Instagram way when I met my husband in Dec 2008. From the very first interaction, everything around me assumed hues of warm, endearing colors. Our courtship just lasted three months which, as my friend assured me the other day, was enough to lend excitement to my otherwise regular arranged marriage story.

I've been struggling to write about love. What made me believe, in a matter of a few weeks, that my husband was the one? Besides the common interests, love for books & theatre, what made me so sure that this person will keep me happy for the rest of my life? That he'll take care of my needs and support me in every way? That he'll be able to fulfill all those dreams and hopes that I had tucked away somewhere in my soul and forgotten about?

And my answer is simple. Nothing.

Love can come by when you're least looking for it. When I met Adnan, I had crossed our society's 'marriage-able age' mark. I wasn't on the look out for a Prince Charming myself and was ready to marry whoever my parents deemed fit for me. In this case, I must admit, I was very lucky because had my parents ever come under societal pressure, I shudder to think where I might have landed. 

I found love at the right time in my life and this love has made me a completely different person from who I was five years back. And that, I think, is what real love does. It makes you grow and blossom into the person you were always meant to be. And when a man loves and takes care of you when you're down with fever and throwing up in the toilet or when he doesn't snub you when you're complaining about a bad hair day or shares your enthusiasm for almost all your hobbies- you've found true love. 

Almost.

'The deepest love is not the most carefree.'

Travels with my Aunt - Graham Greene

Colette on Writing

"We cannot paint a beloved face without passionately distorting it - and who speaks willingly of the things that belong to real love? But we can catch and hold - with words or with the brush - the crimson flush of dying leaves, the green of a meteor against the blue night, a moment of dawn, a catastrophe...Pictures which of themselves have no sense or depth, but which we invest with meaning or sharp foreboding - they bear forever the stamp of some particular year, mark the end of some mistake or the culmination of a spell of prosperity. For that reason no one of us can ever swear that he has painted, contemplated, described in vain". 

( My Mother's House - Colette)

January 28th was Colette's birthday. Read about her novella The Cat here on the blog.

Image: Google

A Word, a Song, a Tennis Player = Nostalgia

Watching Pete Sampras at the second semi-final of the Australian open last weekend transported me straight to my school days. The match was one-sided anyways (although I was rooting for Rafa but it was rather sad to see Fedrer lose in straight sets) and frequent camera shots of Sampras in the audience sent me into flashback mode.

The year was 1995. I was fifteen and had this SUPER crush on Pete Sampras. In fact it wasn't just me, my entire group of friends was in love with this tennis demi-god. My room was an altar to his greatness and whenever pictures of Sampras appeared in the sports section of the newspaper they found their way on a wooden makeshift board in my room. 

The period from 1995-1998 was the most fun and carefree time of my life. Of course, it is only now that I look back at those days so fondly because during that time we were drowned in books, exams and grades. I guess it is always in retrospect that we find life more attractive. This was the time of cassette players, dish antennas and VCR. When Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge was released, each one of us fell in love with SRK. It was easy to identify all who had watched the movie over the weekend on Monday mornings (clues included a dreamy expression, sighs the entire day and references to the movie in every conversation). There were endless discussions over all the music albums and an intense rivalry existed especially between fans of Awaz and Junoon. Inquilaab was the one album we all played excessively during our college days. It was (and is) my favourite album by Junoon. I remember when they released Azadi, their fourth album, my friend called me and we discussed (in great detail) every song of the album. The conversation lasted at least two hours, on a landline which was the ONLY telephone in the house. 

One glimpse of Sampras was all it took to unleash a flood of memories. Photographs are not always the only route down memory lane. Sometimes all it takes is a word, a song or a tennis player. 

The Blank Page, Truly Madly Deeply (Savage Garden) and Pete Sampras. 

2014 - The Year of No Resolution

It's not a good idea to pen down resolutions and keep them neatly in a folder. You're bound to find the paper (or papers if you are ambitious) when you're throwing out the old to make space for the new (an exercise some of us indulge in when the new year starts) and once you've come across those lined sheets there is no other option but to make a trip to the guilt motel.

After making several trips to the guilt motel last year, I have deleted the word resolution from my life. Resolutions, in my experience, are dangerous creatures. When I made resolutions last year, which I duly noted down, I limited myself to those six or seven points. I made a parameter around my life and put in 'ifs' and 'buts' over every action. 'If I do the above in two months' time, I am entitled to this. If I manage to finish this by ------ I will -----------'. I had become my own moral, emotional and spiritual policeman. A control freak. A sort of nasty departmental head.

Resolutions made me lose my spontaneity. If I wasn't able to meet a certain task at a specified time, I lost interest in doing it. Listing things down into neat sentences and keeping it all together in a folder did not make me a more organized person. It made me an unhappy person. And yet I kept going back to the list, hoping that by rearranging bits of it I'd find answers. It was only in the latter half of the year that I realized that the answers lay OUTSIDE the list. 

The past year I did a lot of things which were not part of my resolution wish list. And it was these unplanned events which made me a different person; more fulfilled, happy and confident. As soon as I let the resolution list collect dust, I was able to leave my comfort zone and discover the new old me. 

So I resolve to make no lists this year, except for grocery. Unplanned grocery shopping is a one-way ticket to the guilt motel! 

Think, write, read, create...

....and live in the moment, all through this new year.