Post # 11 - let's talk about london

Disclaimer: I love my kids. Very much. However, this blog post contains true and very tough details about travelling with toddlers. Also has some tips which might make parents of toddlers rethink their summer travel plans.

Where do I begin? Let's begin with hopeful starts. Even though our flight to Dubai was delayed by an hour which meant that a) the routine of the twins got messed up and b) we had very little transit time at Dubai airport, hubby dear and I were confident and positive that we'll get through it all smoothly. We also had help from a friend, Aziz Sohail, who sat with us through the delay at the lounge and let me tell you, friend or no friend, it's no fun to be with someone who has two unhappy toddlers. He also gave up his seat for us so Adnan and I could sit together because with twins, you need both parents on the spot. Team work is what gets you through. A big shout out to him for being there for us when we were showing signs of breaking down. 

Tip#1: Don't be shy in taking help whenever and wherever it's offered to you when travelling with toddlers. 

The thing about toddlers is that no matter how 'prepared' you are, you're never really prepared. I had bought harnesses for both Z and N and I was sure that with the twins attached to the harnesses, we'll navigate our way through the madness of the airport. But toddlers have a mind of their own and since they can't speak to show their displeasure, they use the rest of their body. As soon as we walked out of the plane at the Dubai airport, Z and N wanted to run and explore. So you can imagine how they reacted when we tried to put the harness around them. N went into a screaming fit and Z lay down on the floor and did the whole legs raised, arms thrashing, toddler tantrum routine.  And that too outside the corridor leading to the bathrooms. As hubby dear and myself tried to calm down the twins and stuff them into the airport prams, a sea of people was going around us, probably tut-tutting. 

Tip#2: Leave your ego and your self-esteem in a water tight container at home when travelling with toddlers.

Nobody wants to be around babies in an airplane. When I didn't have kids it was a huge disappointment to find my seat next to or even near one. But I used to swallow my pain and raise the volume of the film to maximum when the child started screaming. The people around us were quite nice and nobody complained when the twins occasionally cried (which came as a huge surprise for us after the tantrum at the airport). However, there was a British Witch sitting in front of us who didn't hide her displeasure and kept giving us looks. What did we do? Gave her looks too and in my case, cursed her with abandon in Urdu.

Tip#3: Don't bother about others in the airplane if you're with toddlers who aren't even raising much of a ruckus. You won't see those people again.

How do you spend a vacation in London when you have twins in tow? Well, you just make the best of it. Don't put places like museums and theatre shows in your places-to-go and things-to-do list. Just add parks to the list and make sure you tire them out enough so that they sleep in the pram. Because that's the only time they'll willingly be in the pram! Plan your activities around their nap or at least try. We've been to London twice in the past two years so it wasn't such a disappointment for us.

Tip#4: Don't go exploring new places with toddlers. 

It sounds like a catastrophic holiday but honestly, it wasn't all doom and gloom. Yes, it was tough managing Z and N everyday. In the middle of fevers, upset tummies and tantrums, we also managed to squeeze in laughter, smiles and many hugs. It was lovely going with them to places where I had gone while pregnant. But if I had the chance to take this same trip again would I take them along?

NO.

What is your favourite building? in pictures

The National Art Gallery, London

Taliesin West, the winter home of the architect, Frank Lloyd Wright

Images by: Me

What is your favourite building?

It’s a strange question, isn’t it? One that we never really think about or actually ask people. Do you have one? Think about it. In Karachi? Or in the places you’ve visited over the past few years?

A lot of people might say Burj Khalifa because it’s the tallest building in the world and an engineering marvel. I don’t like it very much. It’s kind of scary. Whenever you look at it don't you wonder how it’s standing up? Aren't you afraid it might come crashing down on the dancing fountain? I do. 

Can the favourite buildings of a friend also become dear to you? I remember seeing the Chrysler building through the eyes of my dearest friend, Samiya. It was through the pictures of her first trip to NYC (maybe in 2002?) that I was introduced to the skyline and architecture of the city in-depth. It didn’t mean much to me then but all I thought of was her when I finally saw the Chrysler building two years back. Or the house of Frank Lloyd Wright, her favourite architect, in Arizona. 

What about buildings in other cities? Maybe the National Art Gallery? It was one of my favourite haunts in London. I loved going there again and again. Whenever I approached it I felt comfortable, as if I’ve come to a familiar place. There was this one time when I rounded the corner and came across it, completely unaware, and it brought a smile to my face. In many ways, that building was the focal point of my everyday exploration of London. 

After giving it some thought I’ll probably say one of my favourite buildings in Karachi is the Hindu Gymkhana which is now NAPA. That is where I hung out with my husband during our courtship period and it was such an important part of my life in the initial years of our marriage. 

I think Atif was right when he said that buildings by themselves don’t carry any meaning. It is only your experiences with that particular building which makes it important for you. We all admire buildings, or are disgusted by them, or just give them a passing glance as we walk or drive by them everyday. But if they are the place where we spent time with a lover, or where we saw our first Van Gogh and Monet - then they acquire a special place in our lives and I guess, become favourites. 

Note: This blogpost was inspired by a conversation with my friend Atif who told me that this is a question in the IELTS speaking test. 

London musings

"Stop staring. What are you looking at? The lines on my forehead? My arched brows? My long wrinkled neck? Are you admiring my aquiline features? Look into my eyes. These eyes have seen so many like you pass me by day after day. Some of you laugh, others stare and a few take pictures. I like it, the distraction, because most of the times I'm staring at Jean Dubuffet's 'The Busy Life', which features five grotesque figures as you can see for yourself. Now you understand what I go through? Wait! Where are you going? Oh yes, stare at the 'Four Figurines on a Base', my husband's memory of a Paris brothel. I have this in my view also. And the thoughts that go in my head when I see this, you can't even imagine. Go ahead! Admire his work. Are you leaving? Already? But I have so much to tell you. Wait!"

[I visited London in 2011 and one of my favourite activity was going to the museums and making notes on how I felt when I saw a work of art that fascinated me. This was written on a trip to Tate Modern. I came across it while combing through old notebooks yesterday.]

Image: Google

Of Travels and Destinations - Dubai (Wrap-up Post)

Conversations with taxi drivers in the Dubai trip provided the much needed insight about the place beyond its glitter. There was one taxi driver who told me how this job had helped his family back home and enabled him to build his house, marry off his sister and send his children to school. Then there was the one who explained, with great detail, how various nationalities behaved towards drivers - with foreigners (read: goras) being the most polite and leaving substantial tips and Arabs being the worst. Pakistanis and Indians were mostly rude, especially the affluent ones who considered taxi drivers as some alien species and not humans.

I like Dubai. Mostly because of my family and friends who live there and who made this trip such a memorable one. And yes, I admit, I like the shopping too. But there are various sides to Dubai and not all of them are glamorous. As tourists we don't get to see the apartment buildings where people share tiny flats and don't have central air-conditioning. Take a ride on the metro and you'll see tired, expressionless faces and glazed eyes as the metro takes them by shiny malls and hotels. They are, however, assured of one thing. No one will stop them on their way home and snatch their belongings at gun point.

Sometimes for peace of mind, you have to pay a price. 

Of Travels and Destinations - Dubai Part III

Within three hours of landing in Dubai, I was at the mall and in the make up store. It's easy to explain why: I needed to buy makeup. Why the urgency? Simple, because I had none. And the reason I had hardly any makeup was because on a similar getaway trip to Dubai I had made in the first weekend of April, the airline had lost my luggage. 

The airline has still not officially declared the luggage as lost. They are hoping to find it so they are spared making the compensation payment (which is peanuts....I mean, how can they put a price on the emotional attachment I had with my stuff? sniff! sniff!). I've kind of gone through all the stages involved in losing a piece of luggage; denial, more denial, hope, anger, frustration (usually involves the question, why me?), resignation, sliver of hope and finally, acceptance. 

Living in Downtown Dubai (I almost wrote Downton...and I'm not even a fan!) is very convenient. Dubai Mall is just minutes away! And it has the answer to all your shopping needs, more or less. It certainly had the answer to my needs and once we were done with the much needed bathroom trip, we stepped out of the house, hailed a taxi and off we went to Dubai mall. Our driver was from Peshawar and as soon as we told him we were from Karachi he asked, MQM? It is at times like these that one feels like, well....anyone living in this city would know what one feels like when asked this question.

So this taxi driver, Faiyaaz, was living and working in Dubai for the past 17 years. He told us how the entire Downtown area was all a desert wasteland and now they had made it into this concrete wonderland. We chit chatted about Pakistan, Karachi, Peshawar, etc and in under ten minutes, he deposited us at the mall entrance and refused to take money from us. You are our guests here, he said, politely shaking his head. We shook our heads too, politely thanked him for his gesture, made a small speech on how we couldn't rob him of his livelihood, handed him the money and stepped out of the taxi.

In all my trips to Dubai over the past five years I've never met a taxi driver who refused to take money from me. The gesture was very sweet and it gave me a bit of hope. There are still people out there who think from their heart, and are sentimental of sorts. There is good in this world and if you're good too, there is no reason why you won't run into some goodness now and then!

Dubai is a perfect example of how so many different people from different parts of the world can live in one place. I'm going to hold onto this thought for a bit and talk about it in detail in later posts. Meanwhile, in Travel and Destinations part IV: my detailed conversation with another taxi driver to find out the truth about why Pakistani taxi drivers harass Pakistani clients. 

Of Travel and Destinations - Dubai Part II

I always carry a book on me, even while I'm in Karachi. You never know when you'll need to kill the time and I'd rather read than play Candy Crush, thank you very much! I was carrying the novel, Thud! with me but when hubby dear stepped into the book stall in the departure lounge, I couldn't help wandering over too. Maybe it was nostalgia or the resolve to do new things on this trip that made me buy a copy of the 'Suspense Digest' May issue. 

Hubby dear raised inquisitive eyebrows when he saw my buy but I shrugged nonchalantly, said this is all part of the plan, sat back on the uncomfortable waiting area seat and started reading the first story. The thing that has always attracted me to Urdu digests is the artwork. As a child I used to make stories based on the ink drawings which were usually on the title page of the story. My grandmother was an avid reader of these digests and at any given point in time there were quite a few digest copies in her room. It's a fun exercise actually and some drawings are really done well. This copy of the digest has not excited me very much as far as the artwork or the stories are concerned (yes I've read a few of them and that too after coming back!).

What was exciting, as I tried to maneuver my hand luggage, enormous handbag and myself  through the narrow aisle without brushing against other passengers, was the holiday itself. And more importantly, the quest! We were surrounded on almost all sides by men who seemed to be going to the Middle East for work. What  caught my attention was the phone conversation the fellow sitting behind me was having. Although we humans strive to be different, we are all so similar in so many ways. No matter what social strata we belong to, we all ask/say similar things when travelling abroad for work, leisure or study: pray for me, the blessings of mothers are the best, don't cry that I'm leaving, etc. All those workers on the plane with us had left behind their wives, children, parents, friends, the comforts of home. They were going away so that their loved ones could lead a comfortable life while they lived and worked in average and in some cases, below average conditions. And I kept thinking, why are we letting these people go away? Why can't our country provide livelihood for its people? Why don't we value our labour? What is wrong with us? 

On a lighter note, it was amusing to see all these people being served by a foreign and 'gora' (for want of a better word) crew!

The flight to Dubai takes approximately two hours which is almost the same as Karachi to Islamabad. However, the world turns 180 degrees once you land in Dubai. From the moment you step into the Dubai airport, it seems as if you've entered 'la-la land'. Everything is spotlessly perfect. The perfection continues as you walk out of the airport, into the car and on the road. Perfect roads with perfect sidewalks and perfect cars in perfect lanes perfectly following all rules and regulations to reach their perfect (or in some cases not so perfect) destinations. And the latter is what I'm meaning to discover in my (perfect?) trip.

Read in Travel and Destinations part III: Why our first taxi ride was almost free, my first buy just hours after landing and how the Dubai Mall aquarium has the answer to all problems that plague mankind. 

Of Travels and Destinations - Dubai Part I

"A question, a quest is a starting point that gives any trip a purpose." 

                                                                                                         (Pico Iyer)

Before leaving on holiday with hubby dear last month, I happened to read the above quote. I have, never, set an objective before embarking on a journey. So I asked myself: what do I want to come back with from this trip besides the usual suitcase full of stuff (70% useful and 30% useless shopping) and an SD card with photographs? 

This quote (and the article it was a part of) inspired me to do some serious thinking which excluded the 'things to pack', 'gifts for friends' and 'holiday shopping' list. In all honesty, it wasn't easy to set a question for myself. What kind of quest can I give myself for a trip to Dubai? Besides setting a budget and STICKING to it? Which, I assure you, is quite a challenge. 

After much thinking I decided to set myself two goals. The first one was simple enough, do new things on this trip. The second one was a bit tough. Try and scrape through the glittery surface of Dubai and discover what lies beneath. Is there any personality to this city? 

Armed with these two questions, some Khaadi kurtis (their western pret kurtis are my favourite pieces), a pair of jeans which I succeeded buttoning up after holding my breath for what seemed like an eternity, my funky orange 'Listen Girl' bag, and multi-colored kolapuris, I was ready to discover Dubai like it was nobody's business.

With me usually the whole excitement of discovering new places, doing new things and other holiday jargon-y stuff fizzles out a few days into the vacation. The same happened in the case of this trip also but I managed to stay true to my goals which I will reveal in the next few posts which I will be posting in the next few days.

Read in Travels and Destinations part II: My 'new genre' read for the journey, observations on the plane and the concrete jungle that is Dubai. 

Tour dé Lahore - a pictorial

The Beautiful Wazir Khan Mosque

The walk to the splendid Wazir Khan Mosque was through small streets (left) after entering from the Delhi Gate (right). A street beggar counts his change, oblivious to the rickshaw. Benazir's photo looks down from the crumbling walls.

A work of art indeed!

'This beautiful building is in itself a school of design'- Lockwood Kipling

The Lahore Fort - still holding strong.

These crumbling walls of the fort hold many secrets of the glorious era of the Moguls. If only they could talk...

Walking up the steps to the grand Badshahi Mosque. Nothing can ever prepare you for the sight of this architectural wonder. The designers, masons and artisans of that age were true masters if they could produce wonders such as these without the aid of modern technology. The enormity of the Mosque takes your breath away and every beautiful detail of the Mosque leaves you awestruck and humbled. 

The majestic Badshahi Mosque

    

Nothing can prepare you for the 'lowering of flag' ceremony at the ceremonial Wagah Border also!

It seems like a big 'tamasha' (performance). We were the 'Tamashbeen' (public) cheering and shouting patriotic slogans when ever one of our soldiers struck the ground hard with their boots or adjusted their turbans and showed fists to the 'enemy'. 

The picture on the left shows one of the important rituals preceding the flag lowering ceremony. The soldiers of the Border Security Force of India are also doing the same on their side of the border. Since the gates are still closed, we cannot see if they can match the strength of our soldiers. 

All during the ceremony I was wondering when one of them might slip. No wonder they keep  the gates closed!

These two soldiers did such a good job at intimidating their rivals! Full marks to them for acting so well! The crowd applauded their show of power and clapped and cheered immensely. I could just not stop laughing! 

The flag lowering ceremony. Did we win? 

The final showdown!

    All smiles at the gates...these guards were really tall men! Or was it their shoes?

                                                                    

Is this the gateway of freedom for all? Just like Quaid-e-Azam, M.A.Jinnah had envisioned?
I think we all knew the sad answer to this question even as we shouted patriotic slogans.

Note: All these photographs were taken from Ahsan's camera by him, myself and Mohsin Bhai. I can't take the credit for all the photographs! :)

Tour dé Lahore

A day trip exclusively for sightseeing around Lahore seemed too good to be true but where there’s a will there is a way and Jeff proved it. It is nothing short of a miracle that wedding guests, ranging from the ages of 60 to two years managed to wake up early on a Sunday morning (while on vacation and after a late night of partying) and assembled at 10ish at Liberty Market for a traditional puri halwa breakfast. The day’s itinerary was ambitious; a quick trip down Lahore’s rich historic past and (a little not so rich) present.

The mastermind behind the entire trip was none other than the father of the bride, my dear uncle, Jeff, who was harbouring the dream of such a tour since the day he moved to Lahore! This trip was a recreational and educational trip. And it was a good change from the usual mundane trips to malls and bazaars.

Our first stop was the very beautiful Wazir Khan Mosque. This mosque was built in seven years and work began on it in 1634-1635 during the reign of the Mogul Emperor Shah Jehan. It is famous for its faience tile work (source: Wikipedia). The entrance to the mosque is through Delhi Gate, one of the old gates of the inner city. The tile work is absolutely breathtaking. Our stop there was brief and though we were in the middle of the city, there was a sense of quiet calm within the walls of the mosque.

As we moved through the narrow streets to reach Wazir Khan Mosque, I felt sad at the degradation around me. There was absolute chaos outside the Mosque; life went on around this great architectural beauty in the same manner it does anywhere in our country. It seems sad that all new governments want to build new monuments to mark their time in power; ugly structures that are a display of ego and fake patriotism but no one takes any concrete steps to protect our inheritance, and the little proof that remains of our glorious ancestors.

The display of decadence is nowhere more prominent than at the majestic Lahore Fort. It was built during the reign ofAkbar (1556-1605) and inside it there are many famous sites; Sheesh Mahal, Naulakha Pavilion, and Moti Masjid (source: Wikipedia). The Lahore Fort is also a UNESCO Heritage Site (as is Wazir Khan Mosque) but it seems otherwise from its dilapidated condition. The very walls of the entire place seem to be crumbling. On a previous visit during a trip I’d made to the fort in 2006, the Sheesh Mahal was being renovated. Four years later the renovation is still going on. What a splendid sight the mirrors must be during the heydays of the Moguls. It was heart breaking walking around the fort which, too, has become commercialized.Where, once, the footsteps of Kings echoed people are eating french fries under ugly branded umbrellas of Walls and Coca Cola.

We made a very brief stop at the Badshahi Mosque which is right opposite the fort.. This grandiose structure was commissioned by the Mogul emperor Aurangzeb in 1671 and was completed in 1673 (source: Wikipedia). The Badshahi Mosque is a landmark of Lahore and it is unparallel in its beauty, magnificence and splendour. Since it was a Sunday, the place was thronging with visitors. And we had to cut short our trip so as to be able to be on time at our final stop, the Wagah Border.

Wagah Border is the ceremonial border between Pakistan and India. Over the years, it has become a major tourist attraction as there is an elaborate flag lowering ceremony which is preceded by a parade of sorts (very choreographed) between the Pakistan Rangers and Border Security Force of India. The ceremony is well known for the theatrics pulled by soldiers of the two countries with much fist shaking and boot stamping amidst cheering crowds on both sides. We also joined in the fun and shouted ‘Pakistan Zindabad’ while the Indians did the same. Both the sides had more or less the same setup but ours was a little too pompous. We had a bigger and taller gate which looked rather ugly. Do we really think that a monstrous gate will make us a bigger or better country? I think the gate did represent what our nation stands for (especially now), a country which has big words and ideas (not to forget big presidential palaces and big government spendings) but is hollow from the inside (even the sliding gates did not work all that smoothly!). And to counter Asoka’s Lions which stood atop the pillars of the India gate, we had Allah carved atop both our pillars. Probably because the only reason we’re still here is because of HIM, otherwise we’ve not left any stone unturned to destroy ourselves.

The ceremony was fun. There was a hint of sadness in my feelings as I thought of the great Mogul Emperors, Akbar, Shah Jehan and Aurangzeb. They ruled over a united subcontinent where Hindus and Muslims lived together. How would they react to the Wagah Border? Surely they would be rather shocked. Will our reasons for a separate homeland for Muslims be good enough to justify breaking their homeland into pieces? Somehow, I don’t think so.

I did some sightseeing on my own also when I dragged my mother and brother to the Lahore Museum. There are some amazing things there; miniature Mogul paintings on ivory, wood sculptures of Hindu Gods, a huge stone stature of Asoka’s lions, and of course, the great Sadequain’s paintings. But it is a depressing place and it left me sad. Will we never learn to appreciate our past? I fear the answer. 

At the Shahi Qilla (Lahore Fort)

A big thanks to Jeff for planning this trip! It added a unique and memorable touch to the wedding festivities!